I should thank Chaos that I found this one. Why do fanfics that are most pleasant to read tend to get lost so easily?

My favourite game, one of my most favourite characters, both are here. Maybe there's not too much movement in this, but your study of Eggman's personality is striking. You managed to combine the doctor's desire to improve the world with his intelligence as well as his hatred towards Sonic; among those fanfics which portray Eggman as rampageous clown this one is like a shining star.

I like the way you made Eggman act more... human, let's call it like this. He doesn't resemble a heartless killing robot, he just has his own goals he's not going to give up. Peeking over the evil's shoulder can be really interesting sometimes.

Thank you for writing this. I'm absolutely going to read Servant of Entropy next.

- Qwisse.

Ah, I Like how this leads into Servant of Entropy! This is a side of Eggman I've never seen, and I like it. A lot. If only Sega could see this xD

There were a small amount of spelling errors..one, to be honest haha.

"Thought the first prototype 'Metal Sonic' had failed,"

Thought should be though, shouldn't it?

Great job nonetheless. You have me hooked.

I liked your story. Keep up the good work.

From what little I know of Sonic the Hedgehog, specifically Robotnik, I think in terms of characterization that it was done explicitly well. It really made me get into the feel of him. I thought it delved into him well and made us look into the villain's side and see what he could possibly be thinking.

-

I did notice some unsteady dialogue tags.

For example: “What have I (hic) ever done to deserve this?” He mumbled drowsily.

The 'h' in 'He' should be lower-cased. Like how you did in: “Simon!” he bawled.

It's also the case when you had: “You’re making that up.” He accused. - The period should be a comma and the 'h' in 'He' should be lower-cased.

And then these two:

“Shut up!” he snarled “I said (hic) bring me a bottle!”

“Yes sir.” the robot responded instantly. “What do you want?”

It should be:

“Shut up!” he snarled.“I said (hic) bring me a bottle!”

“Yes sir(,)” the robot responded instantly. “What do you want?”

-

There was also this part: and it was all the work of the damned Hedgehog.

I, personally, felt it would better flow if the word 'that' was used instead of 'the'. Considering there's more than one hedgehog and you had Sonic's name earlier in the paragraph, you can use 'the', but it sounds better to me in 'that' because it feels like Robotnik is being more specific.

-

Overall, I really liked it. It could be that I simply just love diving into character's minds, but I really liked this one. :)

~Lin

'The End. What we lament, what we aspire to, or what we strive to reach. It has its own meaning for everyone, and for me, it’s a time to clear a few things up.'

Beautiful closing statement.

As for the remainder of this story, it was short and yet sweet.

The robot, d-113, who I'd regulated to just a cleaner bot to give Robotnik something to interact with last chapter, is now a Neo Metal Sonic of sorts without the 'offending blue plating', eh? It'll be interesting to see their relationship as you get deeper into your SA adaptation proper, and something of your own graft [and not someone with dutifully set persona like Snively, Decoe etc].

And on that subject... Oh my gosh. I figured this was just a one / two-shot story. Now I'm very intrigued as to how you'll interpret the SA arc!

I haven't seen any really on the interwebs, but if I can be modest, I'm really proud of my expansive take on it [so far, with 5 chapters plus an epilogue left now], and it'll be interesting to see what differing [and similar] points we focus on, expand and all that jazz. Though, if there is a good SA adaptation out there and you know of it, then please do point the way. Lol. I've only seen SA2 / Heroes / 06 ones really.

So yes, not much more I feel I can say. I don't need to nudge you on your writing technique from what I've seen demonstrated, so just keep up the good work and I look forward to reading your first SA chapter [or whatever else you may find yourself writing in the meanwhile].

All the best as always,

~Chosenoneknuckles~

Wow. Just WOW.

I hate to copypaste something a former reviewer has said word for word, but yes, are you sure this is your first fanfic? You captured Robotnik's essence, his live and views on the word perfectly [in my opinion]. The description was balanced, and this dip in first person was just an enjoyable read. And only very believable.

The literal mannerisms of robot d-113 was humorous [which I think the lack of a description made more so, in that it forces the reader to envision it themselves. I personally saw it in my minds-eye as a typical small cleanerbot you see in some games]:

'“Master,” d-113 asked without urgency, “Are you unwell?”'

'“Please define ‘warm’.” The robot requested.'

My perfect Robotnik here [one, out of many] were these section[s]:

'From then on, he spent his time in constant observation of the outside world. He watched politicians squabble with each other while the problems they argued went unsolved. He watched man devour man to the tune of greed, while the faceless sheep that was the average person remained oblivious to the rot growing beneath their feet. He watched-

-and he knew he could do it better.

He tried. His wealth allowed him access to nearly infinite supplies, and he used it to great effect. Soon, he had an army that rivaled the Global Federation, one capable of remaking the world the way it should be. He began slowly, attacking the Mobians first in an attempt to eliminate them from the equation. Their druidic beliefs and disdain for technology were not suited for the new world order he would create. Soon the time came for him to assault the Global Federation. He began by attacking the military base at Green Hill, before spreading out to subjugate the surrounding area.'

'It wasn’t until later, as he watched the newscasters cover the incident, that he learned the meddler’s name: Sonic the Hedgehog.

Just captured his ideals etc. perfectly. I also liked how you seamed together the Mobian and Human worlds, so that they're not entirely separate as the games, comics, my story portray otherwise to date.

All in all, a GREAT start. I can see why you've been as critical on my story as you have been [I mean that in a nice way].

I look forward to reading the next later.

All the best,

~Chosenoneknuckles~

are you sure this is your first fic? cause this is one of the best fanfictions I've seen.