Wow! I am really impressed with this story!

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The whole idea for this was wonderful

Grazie per aver continuato la storia l'ho letta tutta col traduttore Google, spero che rinnoverà presto questa storia e poterti continuare ha leggerti. Buon lavoro e a presto.

attention shift instantly to
[shifted to]

directed Tae-il to take the lead
[He just said he’s never been to this part of Tokyo and doesn’t know the place]

You're guess is as good
You're inability to accept
[Your]

A lot of work and explanation going on, but given where the plot's been going it made sense rather than feeling like a bunch of infodumping. Nice to the plot threads coming together, though I really wish there would've been a little more clarity on the characters figuring out their relationships rather than the 'end of dimension' threat. I think you've written a much stronger story in the former.

Eh, is kinda a nice chapter, but as an ending is too flat, i think the story could continue for a long more time. Best of luck with your stories aniway.

Well. My fundamental problem with this story remains the same as it's always been: the pairing of Akane and Ryoga. I'm sorry, I know you've put a ton of work into this over a very long time, but putting the two of them together will simply never not be gross.

Although, if I'm being honest, that's not my only issue with this. It just gets so incredibly complicated... like most of your stories, frankly. I admire your ambition, and I envy your commitment, but keeping track of so many characters and various plot machinations - especially when these stories run for years and years - can be more trouble than it's worth.

Still, thanks for sharing your work and good luck finishing your other stories.

My congratulation for the speed, very interesting chapter, the dialogues are very well built and the charachters are those we know while having your more serious touch for them. Trough i personally wish for something more action based later. Good work.

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Quando aggiorni

Chapter 30
Even the window's view was different
[This is a REALLY irritating turn of phrase. “Where the window should look out over a muddy vacant lot, here it showed children playing in a grassy park.” That gives us lacking description of how things were and opportunities to SHOW us what the changes are. Without that I feel like you’re cheating and asking us to imagine both of something you never describe. That’s also a loss of opportunity to hint at character or setting]

seem to be quite deep
[asleep?]

why so many others."
[?”]

close to coming too
[coming to]

"You're awake!"
[Unattributed dialog – you’re missing a chance to describe]

this whole stupidity of telling people how you really feel
[lying about how he feels?]

All the nearby home
[homes]

Good to see that you're still writing. I notice you've been making changes from your previous post back when this was all script format. Some of those changes have yet to see a payoff, but some are proving interesting.