I swear it was Hades talking.

Such a short story, and such power behind it! Really awesome. I like the way you portray Kazuya's affection for Jun here. Amazing job!

It's short and it's awesome. :D Fav!

That was amazing, period.

This is great. The mood and the imagery are excellent, and I love Kazuya's choice of words. Once again, great stuff.

This is short.

But it is good. Very good, with amazing use of imagery and language, and a brillant premise of this pairing. A concise imagining of a twisted love, that is not pure or wholesome, but still has an odd power and dark beauty all of its own. I for one, liked the bibical references - it was refreshing, and your summary was effective and intriquing. The ending was eyecatching as well. The use of the word "Love" despite everything else in the ficlet implying the contary, whilst comparing that with the bitterness of what was occuring was a sharp, profound ending.

Great work!

Red

Exquisite. This is a stunning piece; the mood is fantastic, the first-person narrative works, and-above all-the word choices are powerful and poignant. The register is elevated.

I think highly of the symbolism and the metaphorical narration, the two of which manifested themselves best in this line: "-and now I shall be the snake in your Eden. You've brought about your own downfall, sweetness, inviting the Devil in, and now I will take all you have to give." -Considering that Kazuya and Jun's encounter led to Jin's birth... Well done, both in attitude and description.

Criticism: You must forgive me for indulging in personalities and being blunt, but I would kill the author's note instantly. The choice of words there is distasteful and reflects badly on an otherwise outstanding fic. I don't see the note contributing value to the story for its content, either. Also, "I can only soil you-" "Taint" would be a better word choice than "soil."

Exquisite.

Brain poop my ass. This was utter win! Kaz was just so sly, deceitful, tempting and oh-so-Kaz 8D. I'm faving!

Wow, that is like the height of awesome. Just loved Kazuya's voice. Write more please :)

Happy Writing!

NOT BRAIN POOP. D:

You MUST write more Kaz/Jun. Srsly. Or more Kazzy anyway cos, you've got his voice down perfectly if ya know what I mean. Its so winbuckets. So so winbuckets.