there. are. tears. in. my. eyes. T_T. That was so well written, I give my kudos to you!

I love it. Really.

Sniffles. SO sad. WAH. :( This was really really good! I hope you do some sort of sequel to this.

~Kurai Minoru X The Dark Truth X

So sad D':

Poor Marth! Usually this stuff makes me all sad and crap then I don't want to read it again for a while but like... I just reread this twice.. I love it ;w; Good job!

Actually, I thought that was pretty decent. It wasn't what I expected from the summary. Overall, very nice, very poignant without getting overly sentimental. Towards the end, it felt very real.

I don't know if you want criticism, but I have a few suggestions, if you don't mind.

1) The first segment could be expanded in certain areas. Some interesting details were kind of grazed over (Marth's relationship with his parents; the differences between the brothers), and so it reads too much like a summary.

2) Stuff like this can be cut; it doesn't really help the story: "Again, that sign of assumed affection surprised him before, again, he squashed it under the force of the word assumption: 1. something taken for granted. 2. Belief without proof, etc. Marth had memorized the definitions of ‘assumption’ long ago."

3) You could do more with the incestuous overtones. It's a major taboo that probably deserves more attention in a story like this.

Anyway, nice job. Good luck on future stories.

Thi was so sweet! it really showed the bonds between brothers *take out incest* but i loved the kiss Ike gave Marth at the end, very cute im happy for them and yet sad, its an adorable piece keep it up!

you have my full support!

~SasukeReplica

... *cry*

Oh, that was heartbreaking! I loved every word, every sentence, every paragraph of this extract.

I pray you, write more. I think my life shall be incomplete without it. Thank you for this. *love*

Beautifully written! I seldom see people play with the idea of Marth and Ike as brothers, and you've just done a magnificent job here with this piece! It's so loving and heartbreaking at the same time! (But then again, it's not the end of the world, Marth! He'll catch up!)

I enjoyed reading your style (the frequent pauses seemed to work for atmosphere-building; at least, when I read it it did). Thank you for sharing your stories! I do hope you will continue to write more in the future!