More like a Drabble then an epilogue but I stop loved the story and the pairing

I wasn't sure how much I'd skimmed the first time, but apparently I jumped over a lot of content- too much.

I read the critique for this chapter but find myself not quite in agreement. For me I think it was the best one, like it slowed down and let the characters move through the scenes rather than have the reader's mind strapped to the top of someone's head- what I mean by that is I think you had more decisive control over the tone of the scene, unlike some of the previous chapters where it felt more structured and "A leads to B leads to C leads to etc."

I think the "only man I'd ever loved" could use a little tweak, but other than that I empathized with Karst and understood when she blurted out the confession and then started crying. She's exhausted, wounded, and dealing with all the emotional baggage about her feelings concerning Felix that, yeah, most people would be forthcoming and cry.

It does amuse me though to read newer Dusk Fics and see a range of similarities in scene-setting and certain locations and events. It's not copying of course, the way you've plotted your story and arranged your dialogue is proof enough of that, it just makes me smile and "Oh you!" a lot.

So I liked this story, and I liked re-reading it too :3

-Sunny

And by the way I'm confused by FF's stupid dating system: it either says it was published in September 08, and you finished on October 2011, or you published in August of 09 and finished in November of 10. I honestly don't know which way it's ordered...

Very nice little postscript. I had hoped for some resolution to Felix's conflict with Isaac, but the core plot of this story has already been resolved, which is what counts. And for what it is this epilogue is quite good. I'm a sucker for happy ending romances, and this gives a satisfying taste of that while staying essentially true to the characters.

Overall this has been a good fic. Not always solid, and not a particularly deep look at Felix and Karst's relationship, but a rather enjoyable Duskshipping tale at that level. Certainly this is better than the average debut FF dot net fic, and I'll at least have a curious eye on your future works.

I have to say that I found this chapter a bit of a letdown. Felix and Karst's interactions in this chapter are rather idealized and schmaltzy really. It feels disconnected from your accurate portrayal of Karst in the previous chapter, and makes it hard for me to swallow their final reconciliation.

Most of it isn't too bad, I think, but the general weakness of it compared with one or two problematic parts doesn't leave a good impression. Karst's confession of love, and her subsequent certainty of rejection, felt particularly forced to me. The phrase "the only man I'd ever loved" is schmaltzy, and sounds especially wrong coming from Karst.

The one good point there is Felix's refusal to leave. Such stubbornness fits Felix's m.o., and the not-leaving-again thing brings the story sort of full circle.

A problem at the opening of that scene: "Little did [character] know" is pretty much always a no-no. It's a jarring break from the character's perspective.

The one scene that came out pretty well from start to finish is actually Felix's encounter with Jenna. Nothing really startling about it, but it's a good honest handling of the characters.

Anyway, disappointed to see Felix and Karst's issues wrap up this way, but am still looking forward to the resolution of the issue with Isaac.

A year and a half is no excuse to not update! I should know this better than anyone!

That said, I do hope there will be more updates in the future, as I've quite enjoyed this so far.

Sound of Psynergy is intriguing, and I like it. I also chuckled at the end there when she started leaving. I was half-thinking that it'd be funny if they started playing tag like that, and then it happened!

Another bad review, Sunny's sorry.

-Sunny

YES YES YES YES~ Felix Karst, another Dusk-fic!

I unfortunately don't have much to say. I'm sorry. Sick with a cough and not attending class like I ought to. On to the next chapter!

This is a fairly intense chapter, though I'm a bit dismayed at a certain coincidence: my own Duskshipping fic is just reaching a somewhat parallel encounter.

Anyway, the biggest weakness of this chapter is Vale's instant mob, which comes off as unintentionally humorous. This is in a sense made up for by Karst's realistic reaction, as it does away with any notion of the issue as black-and-white. I enjoyed the descriptions of Karst using psynergy in the rain as well.

The fight between Isaac and Karst is a definite highlight, very fast-paced and fluid. I wouldn't have expected Karst to lose, even disoriented by her thoughts of Felix, but in retrospect it makes sense that she's lost her killing edge. Maybe she has no doubts about Menardi, but she must have doubts about Felix's whereabouts, and I suspect that's why she hesitated enough for Isaac to roll out of the way of her scythe.

Isaac's reaction to Felix's interference is problematic, though. Most of it makes sense, but not him actually attacking Felix, especially when it was obvious that Karst was no longer a threat. Felix's little platform is the weirdest thing here, though. It's such an extravagant use of psynergy for such a minor purpose, and it doesn't even truly accomplish that purpose. Anyone could just climb up the platform, or Isaac could create a platform of his own.

However, the situation as a whole works. And it will be interesting to see how this impacts Felix's relationship with his companions.

A number of little errors:

1.""One of the townspeople just told me a Proxian entered the inn. "Armed to the teeth," as he put it."" Misused quotation marks, obviously.

2."...molten lava in it's place." Should be "its", not "it's"/"it is".

3."What the hell are you thinking!" "What the hell are you doing?" would make more sense in the context.

4."...to Karst, who's breathing had become labored." Similar to #2, that should be "whose", not "who's"/"who is".

5."I will not allow her to stay in my home, let alone this town." This would make a lot more sense if "my home" and "this town" traded places.

So, good ending, and it's great that Felix and Karst are actually together at last. Looking forward to seeing how Karst tries to vent her anger while bedridden.

Not thrilled to see a Valeshipping scene, but at least you get Isaac and Jenna's personalities more or less right.

Great stuff with Karst, and her little flashback is so cute. I wonder who she thinks is angry with her, though? Obviously not Felix, since he'd promised to come back for her. Interesting little mystery.

Looking forward to chapter 6.

Great continuation, some fun tales of Felix and Karst's past, and I love seeing Karst nice and angry! She's at her best when she's fiesty and aggressive. Felix is awesome, and I totally sympathize with him, but I am really looking forward to Karst giving him a good wallop the next time she sees him, just to let out some of that aggression.

I love that closing line, too, it really made me laugh. Gonna read chapter 5 now.

Sorry it took me so long to review these chapters; I've been busy writing my own Duskshipping fic.

It's good to see that this fic is still improving. Most important is that this massive delay of Felix and Karst missing the opportunity to meet up has turned out to not be a waste at all. You do a fine job with alternating between the flashbacks and present day. The flashbacks all feel relevant, the transitions are smooth, and you produce decent little stories from Felix and Karst's past. One problem, though, is that they come off as preteens at a time when Felix would have been at least 15 years old. The biggest misstep in that regard is Karst sticking out her tongue.

It was fun to read about Felix's journey, and how he orients himself so that he can use the teleport lapis with relatively little risk of missing his destination. You seem fairly skilled at these travel sections.

The scene with Karst and the ocean dragon is the highlight of the fic. It's appropriately brutal, and I find it thematically appropriate in more ways than one. Karst has a history of being violent, and it's interesting how she revels in this side of herself while feeling guilty over certain instances where she let it loose - specifically, the fight on Jupiter Lighthouse.

Isaac and Jenna are portrayed very well, though for the moment the scene with them seems unnecessary.

One little error: "As luck would have it, they didn't." In the context, it would make more sense to say "As luck would have it, it did."

Overall, I'm certainly enjoying this so far, and it looks like Felix and Karst's reunion in close at hand.

I haven't read anything on FF for years. And I definitely did not expect a Karst/Felix to perk my interest (clicked on this without knowing).

Obviously, that means it's quite well written.

I don't have much critique to give: keep writing, and write for the story, not the amount of reviews- which is always quite discouraging in my experience.

From,

A fellow writer, who wrote fan fictions once upon a time.

Very well written so far, am looking forward to seeing more.

Usually I give up on fics which from the get-go take this long to update; future updates of such fics invariably take at least as long, in the rare instances that they show up at all. But The Pairing Guy insisted I should check this out, so here I am.

This is a definite improvement over the first two chapters. The plot seems to be a simple delaying of the confrontation between Felix and Karst, but it's certainly entertaining for what it is. In particular, I wholeheartedly second The Pairing Guy's comment about Karst getting lost and not being able to use the path her sister took.

Your depiction of Agatio is markedly better. He no longer feels out-of-character, and his tantrum against Felix indeed seems quite natural. Karst's leaving to parts unknown must have been the last straw. Felix not defending himself strikes me as odd, but at least it's a plausible enough cause for his getting lost.

A few line-by-line problems with the writing:

1.""We can't Felix!"

2."before snapping taught" That should be "taut". "taught" means something entirely different.

3."Too late had she... landed on that would take her to Vale without forcing her to cross the mountains and a large desert." This is a run-on sentence, and while I think I understand what you mean, saying that the beach "would take her to Vale" sounds quite odd.

Overall, good tension with the characters makes this a particularly enjoyable chapter. Though I won't be holding my breath for it, I would certainly like to see this fic continued.

Woah, a new chapter. A fantastic one too. The first couple chapters were very good, but this is even better. While I love reading about Felix and Karst's feelings of guilt and abandonment and love for each other, and hope the story will resolve those issues before it's done, it's good to take a break with some pure adventure stuff.

And it is very good adventuring stuff. Where most writers would just say that Karst got lost, you show us just how she got lost. Makes it more interesting, exciting, and believable. Felix's own misadventures are full of fun and surprises.

Agatio is well-handled, and I can really see how he'd be furious at Felix. He was always the violent and impatient guy in The Lost Age, and I enjoy seeing him that way. The flashback with Serik is a nice touch too.

Another typo I noticed: "The sunk sank lower in the sky," You probably meant "The sun sank lower in the sky".

This fic is better than ever now. Keep it up! Deliver another chapter pronto!