It's well written but maybe you could open up Catching Fire and check out the mentions of Haymitch's story from page 198 and on.
Keep writing though :)

Hi there. I really liked your writing and how you portrayed Haymitch but you need to do a lot of fact checking. Have you read Catching Fire yet? That will help you alot 3wonderful though

Hi there. I really liked your writing and how you portrayed Haymitch but you need to do a lot of fact checking. Have you read Catching Fire yet? That will help you alot 3wonderful though

Wait isn't haymitch in the 50th hunger games ( the second quarter quell) jus wondering.

umm haymitch won the 50th hunger games

Your writing is really good, and I think you have potential, but I'd like to point out a few tips that will help polish your writing.

The first was something that immensely bothered me; your commas. Sometimes you had run on sentences. Other times, you DID have commas, but they were in the wrong places, which may be worse than no commas at all. A general rule for commas is to put them where a breath should go. For example, in one of your sentences you wrote:

We ate most of the meal in silence after that, I chanced a look at Faucet and she looked at me with a worried look on her face.

The grammaticaly correct way to write the sentence was either;

We ate most of the meal in silence after that. I chanced a look at Faucet and she looked at me with a worried look on her face.

The other way to write this is;

We ate most of the meal in silence. After that, I chanced a look at Faucet...ect.

Commas are used to put the right intonation into sentances, so you can choose which one you would like to use.

My second problem was grammar in general. Just run your story through spell check, and read it over a few times to check things that the computer didn't recognize. Once you get in the habit of doing this, editing will only get easier.

My third issue was your word choice. While I appreciate you trying to extend your vocab, you have to be sure that the word you are using fits your sentence. For example, you said;

When Haymitch and Faucet were talking about her buying tesserae, someone responded "with equal verve," but verve means vigor, spirit, and style. Since the two were calling each other out, this word doesn't work. A second example occurs when you were telling about someone stealing from the Abernathy's "exuberant amounts" of wood. Exuberant means lively and cheerful, so this word doesn't work either.

As a rule of thumb, if you are unsure about a word, look it up or don't use it.

My fourth and final issue has been pointed out before, but there are a few other examples. Haymitch was in the 50th hunger games with Maysilee Donner. There were double the number of tributes, so there were four per district.

Second, Faucet couldn't have had a brother in 3 because nobody, not even the mayor, is allowed to leave the district without special permission from the Capitol.

There wouldn't have been that much food at the dinner on the train. In Katniss' rides to the Capitol, she only had one choice of what to eat, and it was in courses.

Finally, Haymitch is supposed to look like he is from the Seam.

All of this is important because you are writing a fan fiction. Because of this, you must follow the rules of what happened in the real story before you start following the rules of your imagination. Nothing is less appealing in a fan fiction than one that is not really a fan fiction at all, by really a story of the writers imagination with some of the same characters or places.

I hope this helps you build your writing! Good luck!

write more!

Um... Haymitch won the 50th Hunger Games, and he used the force field that keeps the tributes inside the arena to win. (A girl was chasing him, they were the last two, and she threw an ax over his head on accident, trying to hit him, but it didn't hit him and it went over a cliff, and it bounced back, hit her in the head, and the cannon fired) :)

this is pretty good :) its actually making me almost like Haymitch. Why did you stop Jess?

great!

also, i don't know if u know this but in the second book called "catching fire" it tells about how he won!

Very good, but 'Mitch' was in the 50th games, and they picked four people from every district, he went with Maysilee Donner or whatever her names was, Madges aunt.

WOW! I really, really like it. I always thought Haymitch had darker skin and had the seam look, but this is cool. I hope you write more!

haymitch was in the 50TH hunger games no 41ST

Intersting story. But i feel it needs more in it such as 32kilos of flour,animal costumes and possibly even a chromosen or 2 but thats just my opinion

good bye who ever you are :P

This is such a great idea!

Can't wait for more.