This is cool. May I use the third-to-last paragraph in an epigraph sometime?

if only people bastard's get what they deserve. great story.

another Elephant fanfiction. So,obviously, it's a win.

The style was pretty damn awesome.

Short and sweet.

One thing,"It will you who will feel the grips of desperation, not unlike what I am feeling now" I'm pretty sure there's meant to be a 'be' in there

anyway, write more. because i shall sit in english and you shall never write another essay again