Generally well-written, though I suppose there were a few sentences in need of fine-tuning.

I think I have to give highest praise to the setting of the fic; a seedy hotel room fit for crashing for a night or two- perfect for two girls on the road, and on the run. It's great use of the tradition and there's something rather interesting about having this scene set in a bedroom rather than have it set, say, under the stars. A room is a controlled space, and yet as I am glad to have read, you remember to let your characters never forget that at any minute, these walls, windows and doors mean nothing if someone comes for them. Plus, it helps to build the tension between Ellis and Nadie.

It's good to read a fic from Ellis' point of view. Admittedly, I have never before read an El Cazador story so for me, I only have what I know from the TV series. And what I know is that Ellis is rather enigmatic, for someone who is so straightforward and perhaps unseasoned and rather naive or simple ("Be my husband"; I laughed a lot- it's so Ellis to say it). Yet all of this is her thoughts, and a surprising take that she has desires she needs to reconcile.

My only complaint as far as characterisation goes is that Nadie seems a bit weaker than Ellis in this one. Perhaps you could've done more with Ellis' narration forging her character more solidly. We know that Ellis thinks the world of her, but it's not enough for Ellis to narrate that she is as such- make it so that we can see it, can see it without Ellis even realising that she sees it too. I'm probably making no sense. It was by no means bad characterisation- I merely wish to suggest that with some fleshing out of the story, it could've been amazing.

"What Ellis didn't understand was if Nadie wanted her, which Ellis felt certain she did, why Nadie wouldn't just take her."

I love this line quite a bit. It is such a layered sentence despite it's disarming simplicity. It really captures a lot, and manages to rightly capture Ellis' personality, her development in this fanfiction, and Nadie's own personality/characterisation as well. Good job.

awwww so cute!

GAAAAH so cuuute! UHA I like Ellis being the one to initiate, not that i dont like Nadie as the one who does... but Ellis would seem to be the one to realize what her feelings are faster than Nadie, who would need a slap in the face... or a kiss... to notice XD LOVELYYYY

awww this was just damn cute _ good job!

hawt..

Awesome story)

I loved it, cute,fresh and Ellinad)

3 Aww omg that was so sweet and cute and simply to die for adorable

Nice fic. I can't believe I deliberately ignored this one for so long, especially when this Anime has only a few good Ellis x Nadie fics. Thank you.

wow your story is awesome

ur practically a natural at writing so keep up the kickass progress :]

there really needs to be more el cazador fics though :[

not enough credit given to such a great series

WOW that story was amazing! I wish you could make it longer, like add bits of their everyday lives or something. That was really amazing! I loved it!

aw just that? P

could u write moore stories? please? *-*

and longer ones? hahaha

it was just great, keep on writing

Couple of grammar mistakes here and there but nothing that I thought was cringe-worthy. Better than anything I could hope to write!

This section has been pretty slow since the beginning but maybe you could continue to write a few more stories for this couple? :D

good story. a fine addition to El Cazador de la bruja fanfiction. keep it up.