Loved.

whoa, Sam's feelings and thought was intense...

and his memories about same situation with different role was Great !

Good story, from Sam's POV. Like the way Sam revisited similar injuries in his head that Dean had to take care of, while the doc was recounting the injuries Dean had to Sam. Love the last line "... then Heaven and Hell hadn't seen anything yet."

This fic was so in tune with Sam during that time. Great how you had Sam's thoughts of Dean looking after him when he had similar injuries as the doc catalogued Dean's injuries.
No matter what season you write a fic about, you get so inside their heads.

Glad that Sam got a perspective shift here. Because it's no good flirting with the dark side if you risk losing what you're fighting for in the process.

And that last line really packed a punch.

Very good, though I distinctly remember Sam being worried about Dean in that episode

I absolutely love this. You've characterized Sam brilliantly here. The fact that he is clearly desensitized but is conversely scared by the fact that he's desensitized, and that it took seeing nearly losing the only person left that's ever mattered to him to make him realize it.

One overarching comment I'll also make for all your stories, because I've read several today (especially the Mystery Spot tags, which were thoroughly upsetting but quite well done), is that you pull off something that most supernatural authors I've seen never manage to do successfully is take their relationship and write in a way that doesn't make me roll my eyes and go "oh my gosh, stop acting like women." I mean, given the subject matter it's a little difficult to pull off, because they do act kind of ridiculous in the show a lot (I mostly pick up on it because while I adore the characters I'm critical of Jared and Jensen's acting because I'm a drama snob who's overly fond of playing tragic and melodramatic characters), but your stories show why they act that way when they do act that way and why they're entitled to it with all the horrible stuff they face. And THANK you for writing it in a way that makes it clear that their relationship is familial and shouldn't be construed as slash. It is SO hard to do that- I'm fairly new to writing for Supernatural, and I've been trying my best to convey that, and friends of mine who've looked over them for me have laughed a little bit and told me that they wonder why the slash fans haven't been reviewing because it looks like I'm trying to pander to them by making their relationship cute.

Oh and back to this one...speaking of "cute", I love the ways you wrote about Sam's little reflections about times he'd gotten hurt and Dean was there to look after him. Dean's so sweet whether he'll admit it or not. Older sibling instinct at its finest is conveyed here, and let the slash fans think what they like, this really is what it's like when you're the oldest sibling (and I am in my family).

Anyway, your work is lovely, and it's beyond me how you're able to produce so much fanfiction and maintain the amazing quality every single time.

Lovely story. Yes, this scene did so need to be in there. You did a great job pulling in the history there. Sam was marvelously, precariously balanced between being familiar enough with having Dean in the ER to keep from panicking like a bull in a china shop, but familiar enough to know how much worse this is than the times before. Love the direction his thoughts were taking there at the end. Very in character to be so devastatingly wry and loving at the same time. Great job!

I have to say that when I saw that episode I got really upset that Sam didn't even looked to his broken brother dying in the ground, because he was to focused on Alastair. That'll never look like Sammy to me and that is one of the top of my reasons to think that he was REALLY stupid in season 4... But I can't really blame him from that, 'cause he was just doing all that because he didn't know how to live without Dean and somehow didn't seemed to notice fully that he was there (and how insane are these things I'm talking? xD)

Well, I liked the fanfic

Kisses and see ya next o/

Rosetta

Ugh, just watching Dean get pummeled like that hurt, emotions aside. This tag did a great job dissecting the feelings and motivations for what Sam did, got behind that hunter bravado and the sterility Sam wears for so much of Season 4. I really enjoyed the flashback sequence during the doctor's litany of Dean's wounds, how each breaking point Dean has on his body is matched by a breaking point on Sam's which Dean helped fix.

These 2 paragraphs say it all:

"He’d been frustrated when the angels had snatched Dean. Annoyed that the angels were once more pulling their strings. Ticked off that they considered his broken brother a better weapon against Alastair than Sam was. Aggravated that even now the “good guys” were holding back, interrogating instead of annihilating. Worried about Dean and what was being asked of him, yeah, but more angry than afraid.

He’d searched for Dean with the intent of shouldering him aside and ending this. Sam would save his brother from the walk on the dark side, because the dark didn’t bother Sam anymore. He expected Dean to be a little quieter after, a little more hesitant and shell-shocked, okay, but Sam hadn’t actually feared for his safety. Even when he’d finally gotten there, he’d seen only the demon and the angel locked in combat, that filth Alastair winning. Not even noticing the shattered body of his brother lying motionless to the side."

I really liked how you pinpointed Sam's feelings in this one. The two paragraphs pretty much summarize Sam this season for me. Powerful, proud, and really angry. Angry about how the angels chose Dean instead of him, the intent of shouldering Dean so he could take care of it. It hurts to know he probably thought these things. I really liked how you touched on Sam not really being worried, just annoyed with the angels, but not afraid of what the meeting between Dean and Alastair could've possible meant.

I also liked the fact that Sam kinda zones the doctor out, as though his mind only catches on the words that remind him of injuries past and how the brothers took care of each other. And my favorited lines: "And everything Sam was able to do, everything he’d risked, everything he’d sacrificed, was worth crap if this one fragile, helpless human being wasn’t around to see it." and "And if Dean died now, because Sam had been too proud to see the danger… Well, Sam’s grip tightened in his lap, then Heaven and Hell hadn’t seen anything yet."

It's true... all of Sam's struggles and drowning his emotions in light of his mission woul dhave been worth nothing in the end if he couldn't even save his brother... his buried reason for doing all this to begin with.

Thank you for sharing, I hope you don't mind such a long review, but I waited for this story and again, you delivered. :) Great job!

I lovedlovedloved that! You captured Sam very well, and also your characterisation of Dean was great!

"the spark of life, of rebellion and determination and humor and furious love that made up Dean Winchester, was missing"

That was what I thought watching the heartbreaking scenes from this episode! I felt SO damn sorry for Dean *sighs*

And also reading your story - it almost made my cry when I realised once again that season 4 was so hard to watch and is so different from all seasons that Sam and Dean have changed...

I liked the way you let the Doctor tell Sam the list of Dean's ...flashbacks (or something like that *lol*) of Sam's wounds,similar to the ones Dean now has. You know what I mean. That was a great idea.

Loved this story!

Kritty

I've just been away and, of course, took the SPN boxset with me - watched this episode AGAIN and realised AGAIN just how amazing it was. Your tag does it full justice with great insight into Sam at this point and, with all your references, the many others where their bond is shown so strongly.

Particularly loved this..."the spark of life, of rebellion and determination and humor and furious love that made up Dean Winchester, was missing. For all Sam had complained about part of his brother being left behind in Hell, it truly was a shell lying in front of him now.

Being right had never tasted so bitter."

...just great!

fabulous story. Love the memories that each injury conjured - along with the love that was shown Sam by Dean.

Thanks - again - like always - your stuff is great.

That episode was harrowing to watch and this fic so perfectly captures what I believe were Sam's conflicted feelings of power and powerlessness, of denial and horrified acceptance, of jealousy and love. And that last line was truly terrifying. The juxtapostion of Sam's memories of injuries and Dean's tending to Dean's injuries was poignant and beautiful. I particularly loved this: and the spark of life, of rebellion and determination and humor and furious love that made up Dean Winchester, was missing.'

Gorgeous stuff.

Phoebe