Hi there, Neo! Been awhile since I last read this story but i was able to pretty easily pick up where we last left off. I like hat you continue things by having us see the consequences of what Sailor Moon does coming in the form of Barbara Gordon gaining the ability to walk again. We see it as a positive that this has happened because we know how and why that Barbara lost her ability to walk but then we discover that the causes for it are not as benign as we imagined. Something is going on and has made an act of mercy and kindness actually be considered a terroristic threat that has placed the welfare of Ami and Rei in grave danger. The JLA is being given leave by the UN and the Japanese government to go a head and treat these girls as terrorists despite them not having had anything to do with the situation.

Gohan coming in at the end and revealing that things are not as they should be and that there is something else at foot behind these events sets the stage for the future events to happen. It leaves the question for how they will undo what has been done and restore the hero status to Usagi, who at this point has turned he people against her with her decision to show her power and reveal the other senses to the world.

Loved the Donald Trump line and how everyone just figured it was him being an idiot on Twitter, like always ;) I got a serious laugh about that. It broken the Fourth Wall in that right sense because it made me look at this world as being very similar to ours and having idiots like Big Orange running the country.

Haruka is right in that ((The winds of change were unavoidable.)) You cannot avoid fate or stop it from happening. It has a mind of its own and will do what it wants. You can run from it for a time but it will catch up with you eventually.

Learning that when ((Haruka turned 24,)) that ((she learned that all senshi become fully developed)) and were ((no longer needing the transformation pen to access the powers of her former self.)) really fits with the human connection. Our brains don’t fully develop until we are about twenty-five so having them not develop their full power or regain them in this sense makes that connection between age and developmental stages. Having these things all come rushing back at her at that time and scare ((the living shit out of her)) also works to show how our different developmental stages can be quite overwhelming emotionally. It’s like going from childhood to adolescence. There are many changes, not all of them physical that we must learn to deal with and they can be quite frightening. Lots of people develop mental illnesses because they can’t handle these changes.

I got a big chuckle out of her thinking how ((Big Head better not touch my little firefly.)) She’s being a typical parent here. Doesn’t want anyone to mess with her baby. Doesn’t think anyone is good enough for her. Not even the son of a billionaire who also likes to traipse around in a costume and save the world :)

Damian imagines ((Saturn to be tall and scary, wearing rings all around her body and the deep voice of a real life demon based on how his father and Alfred spoke of her power when researching the girls.)) However, ((he couldn't have been more disappointed.)) because she was really just a normal girl, about the same size as Rei. It’s a great look into Damian’s mind and how he views the world. He sees himself as above everyone because he’s the grandson of Ra’s al Ghul, the biological son of Bruce Wayne. He’s the elite assassin but here he is being shown up by a small slip of a girl.

When Saturn said, ((“Mama Neptune said not to kill you..." Sailor Saturn sighed, "but she also said to use whatever means to get answers.")) I imagined how Damian was conflicted given how Batman's rule is to not kill. Something that he has struggled with since becoming Robin (and which Jason has basically decided to ignore in many of his arcs). I also like the parallel here between how Neptune tells Saturn to not kill but do whatever necessary against the golden rule of Batman that says to not kill no matter what. We all know Batman uses every mean other than killing to obtain the information that he needs. It’s another look at how heroes handle the difficult tasks of gathering the intel they need and where the limits are for each.

Damian asking, ((“Who the hell is Baby? What does he look like? Why would he want that artifact?")) and then thinking about how ((This had to be how Tim felt all the time, having so many unanswered questions.)) really made me chuckle because it was a momentary connection between him and one of his siblings. Not that it helped Damian to understand his brother any better or even soften his feelings towards him. Drake and even Grayson are still imposter sons in his opinion. He has yet to accept them as part of the family or see them as equals.

Shuichi Minamino explains that ((“Baby is from another world, a creature who's power comes from taking over other's bodies and using their abilities. Having escaped from Hell, he's landed on our Earth.")) allows us to have a moment where we see “Robin” as not always having the answers and having to get them from someone else. We know he doesn’t like showing his deficiencies and that it will irritate him that someone he doesn’t rust has the answer that he needs to a problem he and Batman have been trying to solve to no avail. It allows us to see Robin as a person, as someone who is still learning and growing. This even shows us that Batman doesn’t always have all the answers and needs outside help to figure out what is going on.

It’s not a surprise when Rei’s father says, ((“Our fair government, along with the United Nations, has approved of the Justice League handling the terrorist act that you and your friends have committed against the world.”)) Ami and Rei are essentially the fall girls in this mess. The question, though, is why? It doesn’t seem like Usagi to sell her friends out like this. Not when her every goal is to always protect them and everyone else. Rei slowly deducing that there is something wrong and that a darkness is around them sets the stage perfectly for when Minako shows up and tells them they need to leave. There’s something wrong with her friend, something off about her. We don’t find out what until we hear ((“Baby, get out that body now!")) The pieces begin to fall into place with this and we realize that this is the creature that Robin was learning about a scene before and who Batman is trying to stop. This isn’t the Joker, Ra’s or even Darkseid. This thing has escaped Hell and is looking to have fun before destroying the world. It makes him or her much more dangerous than the other three combined.

Rei’s last words before things go black are, (("That's... Gohan.”)) leaves things on an interesting hook. What’s going to happen now that Gohan is here and is confronting Baby/Minako? How will Rei react to him being there? Will she work with him or will she tell him to go away and leave this to her? How does Bruce figure into this and how will he help? Will he help or pretend he’s just the simple billionaire trying to do what he can to help his goddaughter? So many questions are left with this ending.

Really can’t wait to see what happens next! Fabulous job!

Who's Goku going to be paired up with for once can it be someone other than just Serena maybe like mina/sailor Venus Lita/sailorJupiter Ami/ sailor Mercury hotaru/ sailor Saturn I'm interested in seeing Goku end up with one of these girls because there very rare parings and some of them never been paired with Goku before

Hi there, Neo! Congrats on updating after so long away! I am not as fandom blind here as I have been in other stories since I watched the Cell saga and liked the egotistical character quite a lot (he's my favorite actually). I love how you have him inside a group of other assembled "bads" and essentially laughing at them. He is above Frieza and his lot and knows it. The only one he doesn't understand is Queen Beryl. She's an anomaly he calmly stands back and observes as she punishes Frieza's forces for their insolence. It shows how dangerous Cell is. He doesn't rush in foolishly or challenge an adversary without making some note of who and what they are.

I love how Cell watches Frieza taunting a Saiyan who is in the pits with them and internally thinks about how ((He'd been defeated by a measly saiyan twice, one of which couldn't even make a dent against Cell. Who did he think he was fooling?)) For me, this accurately exemplifies the arrogance that is Cell. He's supremely confident in himself, in his abilities. He imagines himself as perfect. It does not matter that he was defeated... It is a minor detail to him. All that matters is that he will return and defeat those who defeated him, gaining the ultimate revenge and command of the planet once and for all.

I thought that this line: ((Mistress Nine tilted her head like a puppy not understanding.)) was a very evocative one because it indicates a duality here. On one hand you have this seeming innocent expression evoked by the image of an adorably confused puppy. However, it is worn by a woman who is clearly nothing like an affable puppy. It signifies the puppy is more like a hellhound and that one wrong move could result in the loss of fingers.

This: (("Eternal Sleep.")) reminds me of the Dark Curse on OUAT but far, far worse. The person encased in ice (Burter in this case) is still conscious and would ((live forever with nightmares of his inability to do anything to save his friends.)) plaguing him. It is a cruel and sadistic fate inflicted by a woman who is the epitome of evil.

Ah, love how Nine reveals that ((Despite all his power,)) Cell ((still had the heart of a human.)). He's capable of jealousy and anger and possessiveness. All qualities that can destroy men (and women) if they are not careful. I like this shoes Nine as being a cunning and deceptive sort. She might be 'loyal' to Cell, might call him "Master" and her "Lord", but she also has an agenda that we have not yet seen. Cell could be an expendable cog in the works for all he (or we) know.

Just a couple of quick pointer(s):

This line here: ((Mistress Nine walked over to him, her purple lips tight and full of secrets, he was sure.)) is a bit odd because of the final comment about him being sure. If it was me, I'd reword it like this: (Mistress Nine walked over to him, her purple lips tight and full of secrets.) I'd also move the (he was sure) to its own line and pair it with the next one like this:

(He was sure he saw something in her eyes. What it was, he didn't know. If he was less sure of himself he would tread more cautiously.)

Here: ((To Frieza, she had an aura of a woman of power, possibly an army general or a queen of some nation. He'd always found human women to have an eloquence that the females of his planet didn't have and bosoms that stood out much more.)) since you had things from Cell's perspective, it feels weird this is from Frieza's. I would change this story Cell just for continuity of flow.

In all this was a very good setup chapter that indicates that trouble is coming from within the group of assembled warriors and for the unsuspecting heroes on the other side. Good job!

awesome interesting story I really like it so you have my support . I wanted some dbz style action like punching and kicking shockwaves that shake the entire landmass and planet itself and heavy lifting scene like mountains buildings islands trucks buses asteroids etc and lot's of destruction in dbz style than your story will become more awesome and worth reading it so please add this kind of stuff and how much powers dbz characters will use against my sailormoon characters like 1 % or 2 % something because you already know how strong and op dbz characters are ( multiversal level ) and for your kind information genyu force can easily defeat beryl. . and Frieza can solo sailormoon universe so please stop downplaying dbz characters. .. and I want to see frieza shows beryl her true place and show her that he's the ruler of the entire universe and not to make him angry. ..

Aaaaand ya lost me with Freiza's portrayal. Frieza only cares about 2 things, himself and obtaining more power for himself. Those that serve him, are his to deal with. And has no problem with killing them himself if the mood strikes him. And while slightly more attached to Ginyu then the others, even losing Ginyu wouldn't bother him.

You can actually see this in Dragon Ball Super. Frieza is a psychopath of the highest caliber. Shocking even beings whose job it is to destroy planets with his callous disregard for others, even his own universe.

And he would rather die (bad metaphor for the setting) then submit to someone else. He loses an underling? Eh, even if the Ginyu Force, it doesn't bother him.

And looking at the last part, yeah. Cell has as much of a disregard for life as Frieza does. Just his Saiyan cells give him the urge to fight strong opponents to gain strength himself.

While written with far better spelling and grammar then most series out there, the OOC-ness of the villains of Dragon Ball Z is just something that will bug the hell out of me. I'm a big stickler for characters remaining in character. So, good luck with your story.

Not much to say, except I doubt Cell is the kind of being interested in someone else's physical attributes, beyond being able to fight, that is. That Saiyan DNA in him and all (not the Goku or reformed Vegeta, but the DNA that compels him to fight, destroy, and kill mercilessly).

I think it is awesome you are still working on this site in some way

I’ll preface this by saying I have never read the original that you’re rewriting.

I like that you started with the villains. It’s... refreshing, I suppose, because you typically start with the heroes/protagonists. However, despite starting with the villains, the reader is still left wanting to continue, so in that regard you are successful.

I can’t wait for the heroes to surface (especially Rei... she’s my favorite and I’m a bit biased lol). I’ve never watched YYH, but I love SM and DBZ.

Anyway, I’m following and interested. Update soon.

-MS

Have I mentioned that Cell is my favorite baddie in the DBZ series? The Cell Saga is what actually got me into DBZ in the first place. You brilliantly captured his character here in my mind, showing his hatred of Gohan, of his desire for revenge, of his belief in his own perfection and inability to see how his ego has led him into a perfectly laid trap (isn't that the way with all bad guys though?) by this mysterious woman.
I thought how you balanced Nine against Cell worked to create the mask needed to keep him from seeing he was being led right into a trap. Nine is interesting as a character because what her ultimate agenda is remains in mystery. I haven't a he as to what her purpose is, what her motives are, or why she exactly needs Cell in order to bring Gohan (who I am imagining is her chosen victim) to his knees. I am deeply curious to see where this goes as a story and to see what Nine has planned and how Cell as well Gohan respond to the impending threat against them. Very good job!

I thought your rendering here of Cell in this line ((He was perfection.)), is flawless. You've executed perfectly how his internal thoughts would reflect his believed greatness. I get an acute sense this is him from this simple piece of monologue and cannot question or doubt he does not see himself as great.

The paragraph starting with ((Everyday, he would...)) has an insane amount of flowery imagery and power written within in. I love the fact Cell is wanting to gather enough strength in order to literally tear through realms and time itself in his quest to get back to Earth and gain his vengeance upon Gohan. Really showcases the fact that Cell is a sleeping lion that is just waiting for the opportunity to pounce.

Your imagery here in this line ((The flames seemed to sway from left to right like dancers to music without much rhythm,)) really is beautiful. I can see the flames in my head and imagine them being little fire fairies who are gracelessly dancing in the music of their own conflagration.

Again, here, in this line ((Cell turned to see who was stupid enough...)) you really show the arrogance of Cell. He is an elitist. He does really see himself as a God, as sheer perfection, which is why he cannot fathom how anybody can sneak up on him or would be stupid enough to even try.

Again, this paragraph starting with (("My maker?! My, my, my!" Her voice almost seemed flirtatious...)) was fabulous. I loved the dialogue and the interaction between Cell and Nine. She seems to be nothing threatening, merely a character dumped into Hell along with Cell, but the underlying evil in her dialogue, in her laugh just shows us she's more than what she seems. Just love it. Devious female characters are my favorite.

This line right here, ((...Cell, even he, shuddered)) perfectly works to showcase just how terrible Hell is. If it can make a creature like Cell shudder? It's bad. Perfect representation of that.

Just some pointer(s):

With this line here, ((...accustomed to, no, not him.), I would put a period after to and have the next sentence be (No, not him.). Just my suggestion.

Here as well with this line ((...as their fate whom cheered from the sidelines, hoping someone)), I'd put a period after fate and open the next line with (Individual whom cheered).

((and this damned world became dark.))-I'd change 'this' to 'the' just to maintain Cell's POV. Again, that's just my suggestion :)

((...to see another's gaiety))-I'd be specific and change 'another's' to Gohan. His hatred and anger is aimed at him so it makes it more personal and powerful to specify he's being made to watch Gohan being happy and free while he's in Hell.

In all, I absolutely loved this and hope you continue it! Absolutely amazing job!

Ohh. That sensual mysterious lady I see ;) I like this a lot so far. Sorry this review isn't very long, but great job!

Okay, so I'm not really familiar with this fandom though I have to say without thoughts on characterization and whether or not I believe this to be AU or canon, I would have to say that this was a very interesting read that I enjoyed reading; the natures and the fleshing out of the characters was written very well, though some parts were a little confusing and might want to be phrased differently especially near the middle of the fic. Other than that, I wish that this was a little bit longer and also there might have wanted to be more descriptions, but besides that, this was a very nice read, :) [Hell didn't befit perfection. The words came to his brain over and over as he stared into the damned land that he had never allowed his mind to be accustomed to, no, not him. He wouldn't become like the other bumbling fools who accepted this as their fate whom cheered from the sidelines, hoping someone else would get the revenge that only they, themselves, should be getting.] Those would definitely have to be my favorite lines, and they set the scene very well and I wish that you could fleshed out some of the parts a little more, but other than that, it was very nice, overall!

xx clara

Pretty good. I like it. Keep it going. Please update soon.

Hm...so far so good. _

I like how you constructed Cell's arrogant nature very well, and made Mistress 9 out to be a rather crafty femme fatale. However, a few things to note is that there were a few awkwardly worded sentences and a few other minor things like that. Additionally, the story doesn't have a lot of description. Even though we know what Cell and Mistress 9 already look like, it wouldn't hurt to flesh out their appearances as well. However, characterization was good, the nature of it all was good, and the potential to really make this story awesome is good. _