hmmmm,mikan should resist and natsume keep pushing him would be interesting bocs at first u made it like mian really hate him..then u should make mikan don't want have sex with him..but natsume rape her and then they keep doing it..it more interesting that way..

I liked it but I though it happened a little to fast

..It was fast...maybe you should give some time for the emotions..I like the cursing though...

I think i've read this befoRe... but anywaaay, ladida... gag me, makes me feel hoRny... o yeah... juSta tip... when reading something hoRny on a DSi, iPad, iTouch etc. doing it in the bathroom increases horniness.

I'm not sure you know what 'revolting' means.

GREAT!

the ending was funny

:D

I don't want this to sound like a flame, but...I can't believe the guys in your class said this was good. Are you sure they meant it? I mean, yes, it was okay, but it wasn't really...well...okay, so it wasn't a very good lemon. Could have been SO much better. Also, totally OOC. The original (and most fanfiction ones, to be honest) Mikan would never say "fuck" or any word that has fuck in it. This includes fucking, fuckerface, mother fucker, fuck...okay, I could probably continue, but that's not the point. The point is, as a lemon, this was pretty suckish, and really, it could have been SO much better. Sorry, but it's the truth.

LOL...I hate the white jacket too. Good story. I love Mikan and Natsume

LOL, this was hilarious.

cute

woah~! - speechless- lol it was rly good ;)

and also is demon from archdemonlord's bonded?

Wow!

That was...Hot! _

Whose Demon I think I saw that character in 'Bonded'...

It was really nice great job... but I hope you made it longer...! _ loved it!

nice... I wonder what this story would be if it was nNatsume's POV... the Pervert... keep it up!