Reviews for Gradual Descent |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Awesomeness is in this fanfiction! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was amazing! Your writing was perfect! You should turn it into a two shot. :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome Fic, Please update. |
![]() ![]() ![]() very well done :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Fun Fun Fun! Can't wait for more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your happiness clause stitch made a lot of sense to me and I just love how B/A progressed in the story. It came off realistically. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Minor criticism would be watch the adverbs and your dialogue tags - you can get away with using more "said"s since they are invisible (unless overdone) to readers. I would like to see the dialogue tags you like to use in more description of the action instead of the conversation. Example: "But I'm older than you," he objected. could just say - "But I'm older than you," he said. The lines of his mouth creased into a frown. His hesitance conflicted with the look in his eyes. Something better than what I wrote, but you get the idea I hope. Oh, and along the same lines you like to try to vary the description of the person talking a little too much. It started to get a little distracting (i.e. Buffy's called Buffy, blonde, slayer, nineteen year old). As long as you aren't going overboard by saying Buffy every other sentence you can use it a little more :p. I would recommend sticking to two names - particularly Buffy and slayer, depending on what you're trying to emphasize. When you use slayer I'm subconsciously reminded of it and try to match it to the situation. This particular part was masterful: "the slayer shifted impatiently" because then you're reminded they are vampire-slayer and expect a more violent coupling. Big pluses: This is just wow. I feel like I'm reading an AU version of the show. The characterizations are believable, not quite the same as the Buffy/Angel we know but they have developed in your story from the original to something a little different because of the different situations. Angel a little less of a gentleman than I would have imagined and Buffy a little more reckless, but from your story it's from the isolation the two have experienced until each other. If there was any story I would want an update to, this one would be it. I know you said this was a one shot, but this is seriously good. I've reread a few times now. |
![]() ![]() ![]() oh you have to continue this. this is perfect. love it great work |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loll. I love Buffy's first encounter with Angel. XD Well anyways, I can't wait to see more of this, update soon. :] |
![]() ![]() ![]() This was fantastic! I loved the ending- it was genius ;) Added to the C2 community archive so others can have as much fun reading this! |
![]() ![]() ![]() awesome fic :) BA forever |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story lol, hehe hope buffys in a forgiving mood lol x |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh I loved this. Boy I hope Angel is a fast talker or he might be in troubble! Great story, I can't wait to read the next part. Cassie |
![]() ![]() ![]() Are you going to make it a story? Or one chapter... I liked it.. Good job... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Love the story and the concept you same up with. Please review cause I am seriously psyched to find out what's going to happen next! Roxy |