Exllcent fic

Hi Converse,

I hope this finds you enjoying your spring break and that you return refreshed and happy, though being ready for the next quarter or semester was always a debatable thing for me.

I’ve just read “Beached,” which you published way back in 2009. I almost sensed a bit of you in that hypothetical human girl she posited, the one who knew nothing about the bad members of her species.

My guess is that you’ll be quite surprised getting a review for a story you published so long ago, but there’s a beauty in seeing the comparison, and the similarities between your writing then and your writing now. It was a beautifully written story, as all of yours have been, and showed thoughtfulness and reflection in your ability to see thing through the eyes of both Triton’s eldest and youngest daughters. I think this is a very plausible beginning to Ariel’s fascination with humans and their world, and it would have been a far better subject for TLM3 than what Disney chose (i.e., the music in Atlantica theme.)

I enjoyed “Beached” quite a bit for all of these reasons, and knowing your interest in the relationship between Attina and Ariel, really was rather surprised that I hadn’t looked at it previously.

There are some things here that only a girl who has lived something like this can bring to life, the brushing or hair, Ariel’s unused, vanity.

The discussion of humans and Ariel’s need to know her mother’s fate was both interesting and poignant. That she is so willing to forgive humans based on what she has already seen and learned (from human books no less, perhaps more?) speaks highly to one of the most winning aspects of her characters, which is her sense of “charity,” her willingness to forgive and find the beauty in everything around her, even those who killed her mother. Perhaps Attina shares this to some extent (I think her more like Triton in that regard) but Attina saw her mother die. It is much harder to forgive, to even consider forgiving, under such a circumstance.

Ariel’s revelation about human books was very interesting, especially that she seemed to indicate an ability to read them. Perhaps she mean that she had simply been looking at the illustrations, but I have increasingly felt that this is fertile ground or story material. Were I Eric (I can only wish) I would hang on Ariel’s every word of her past, and be especially fascinated with how she came to be so infatuated with the human world in the first place.

And then, Triton arrives to spoil the moment. But it is telling that Attina does fib to protect her little sister, a beautiful gesture which says much about the pair’s relationship. It was a little gesture that made me want for Attina’s happiness too.

Sincerely,
-Axantur
Hi Converse,

I hope this finds you enjoying your spring break and that you return refreshed and happy, though being ready for the next quarter or semester was always a debatable thing for me.

I’ve just read “Beached,” which you published way back in 2009. I almost sensed a bit of you in that hypothetical human girl she posited, the one who knew nothing about the bad members of her species.

My guess is that you’ll be quite surprised getting a review for a story you published so long ago, but there’s a beauty in seeing the comparison, and the similarities between your writing then and your writing now. It was a beautifully written story, as all of yours have been, and showed thoughtfulness and reflection in your ability to see thing through the eyes of both Triton’s eldest and youngest daughters. I think this is a very plausible beginning to Ariel’s fascination with humans and their world, and it would have been a far better subject for TLM3 than what Disney chose (i.e., the music in Atlantica theme.)

I enjoyed “Beached” quite a bit for all of these reasons, and knowing your interest in the relationship between Attina and Ariel, really was rather surprised that I hadn’t looked at it previously.

There are some things here that only a girl who has lived something like this can bring to life, the brushing or hair, Ariel’s unused, vanity.

The discussion of humans and Ariel’s need to know her mother’s fate was both interesting and poignant. That she is so willing to forgive humans based on what she has already seen and learned (from human books no less, perhaps more?) speaks highly to one of the most winning aspects of her characters, which is her sense of “charity,” her willingness to forgive and find the beauty in everything around her, even those who killed her mother. Perhaps Attina shares this to some extent (I think her more like Triton in that regard) but Attina saw her mother die. It is much harder to forgive, to even consider forgiving, under such a circumstance.

Ariel’s revelation about human books was very interesting, especially that she seemed to indicate an ability to read them. Perhaps she mean that she had simply been looking at the illustrations, but I have increasingly felt that this is fertile ground or story material. Were I Eric (I can only wish) I would hang on Ariel’s every word of her past, and be especially fascinated with how she came to be so infatuated with the human world in the first place.

And then, Triton arrives to spoil the moment. But it is telling that Attina does fib to protect her little sister, a beautiful gesture which says much about the pair’s relationship. It was a little gesture that made me want for Attina’s happiness too.

Sincerely,
-Axantur

Loved this! Fantastic analysis of the characters.
Question: Why are so many of your stories about Attina?

Cook

Aww! I absolutely loved it! Great job at portraying how Ariel became interested in the human world.

Not perfectly written, but cute. I like this might-very-well-have-happened scene.

I like how you portrayed Attina. I never thought she would regret having to mother her other sisters. It's an interesting concept. I should think she'd feel guilt about her mother's death though. Since her mother did come back to help her...

Good job! I liked it. )

i really really liked keep writing

I really liked this story. Not that I hate Eric, but it's refreshing to see a fic without him in it.

I also liked the way you wrote about Ariel's mother. The poor thing! And what an interesting idea for her death too, that was morbid!

Well done and keep up the great work!

:) Leah.

I really liked this. I loved all the siblingly things you put in there and I can totally understand Attina's pain, of being eldest. I'm the oldest of four, and have two young sisters. I know how it can be to act like a parent, when all you want to do is be their sister.

Anyway, great story! It was sweet and interesting and all amaziingly in character, as always. ; )

This was so sweet! and you did an excellent job with the personalities of the characters. Ariel was just like Ariel and Attina was just like Attina!

The only thing I'd like to add is maybe you could try experimenting with your writing by adding a few more similies and descriptive writing. Besides that, your story was fun to read and your skills of writing are great!

Very cute story, and I'm rather amazed at the level of character development. Good job!

This is such a cute story

great please add more

Oh the irony! 'i have to keep a sharp watch on ariel for the next few year, just to make sure she doesnt do anything rash or crazy' i love that line!

i really liked this story, especially because you told how it was hard for attina after their mothers death, you came up with another side to the story and its really good!

maybe you could write some more short stories like these with the rest of ariel's sisters.