I liked that story, but damn I cant help but also be frustrated at Dawn and Pikachu. I can understand why Pikachu is acting the way he is in this story but... I feel like Pikachu is acting like such a traitor being ready to up and leave Ash (his bestfriend, carer, trainer and brother for years, hell even his saviour if you think back to the beginning of their adventure) over a girl he's done the deed with (at least that was my gut reaction to that part of the story)... Plus it takes him a minute to decide that he's ready to throw away all of this and abandon his brother... I'd have expected more turmoil and indecision, I'd have thought it'd be more believable if him and Eevee got together a little earlier before May was thinking of leaving and so they'd have time for Eevee to learn she's pregnant. Then she could break the news to Pikachu and he'd then choose his future family over his long-time brother with a heavy heart... That would have put Pikachu in a more sympathetic position imo. Also Dawn just came across as overbearing, nosy and annoying in this story... It was hard to like her even if this was a predominantly Advanceshipping story, at the end of the day she's still a beloved character and a friend of Ash.

Pikachu got eevee pregnant LOL.

"those two must have had it harder than I did" XD that's filthy

That was probably the best confession I've ever read. I loved the ending, it was so sweet and touching. Advanceshipping Forever! .

Hi, I had to read this one after reading “The Puppeteer’s Wishes” and I hope I can write a more comprehensive and critical review for this story.

Overall, I have to say that I really enjoyed it. Like your other story, this one made me stay up super late and not be able to finish HW on time, since I really got hooked to it after I started to read it haha…

One of the major strong points of this story would be the way that you portray each character’s emotion with lots of detail and thought. I especially liked the parts where May conflicts between her old crush and a her “mission” to get Dawn and Ash together. Those emotional outbreaks made me become pretty emotional too and I could actually feel the same feelings that May would experience in those hard circumstances.

Describing and showing those emotions was also very well done, with plenty of details for what was going on when the characters were feeling those emotions and what they were doing in that kind of state.

I also liked the occasional humor that you put in this story since lots of the jokes and tricks were able to bring me laughs and smiles.

The relationship between the Pokemon was also very fun to read, especially the rivalry between Eevee and Buneary. The interaction between the trio of Pokemon was very elaborate and I could vividly imagine what was going on between them.

Some other good points would be the precise description of the surroundings and the scenery, which was done in a way that fitted well with the events that were happening.

Grammar and punctuation was good in most parts, although you made some little, unimportant mistakes here and there.

Lastly, I liked how you made each character feel just like the original from the anime, with their original personalities and unique qualities.

To talk about some points that I think this story can improve on…
First of all, I thought that commas were missing in some of the places that they had to be in, which also happens to be a problem with “The Puppeteer’s Wishes”. It isn’t too serious of a problem, but some sentences were a bit hard to understand with the lack of commas.

Also, I think a bit more Pokemon, other than the “trio” could have been used in this story to make things more interesting and lively between the humans and the Pokemon.

Plus, like some other readers have said, I think that the ending on Dawn’s part could have been elaborated to a further extent with more of her emotions and her own deep thoughts on what had happened. And I’ll leave a separate review for the alternative ending you have written in a few moments.

So, in the end, I had a truly awesome time reading this story. The points that could be improved on are just my own opinions and I believe that your writing abilities easily surpass those flaws.

Thank you again for writing this fantastic story and reading a bad, boring review written by a dumb Korean High School student who has no idea whatsoever on the concept of love.

There isnt many words I can say about this. You perfectly described emotions of all characters, I couldnt stop reading it until the last chapter, It was great. Big thumb up for you man :)

I loved this so much! Those last two chapters made me think of death note, especially Dawn's thoughts right after May left

So much anxiety is gone in me

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! !

Ugh

So sad but it is advanced shipping

I hate them all!

Huh

Ugh darn buneary and dawn

Hahaha