A very sweet story.. wish it was a bit longer. Ash x Dawn always...Good job..

Loving this pairing a lot. Seriously! And I have to say, it's kinda too bad that it's a bit too short perhaps. A little longer, and it's better than good in the matter of the plot. I like the story idea, but I think your grammar still needs some work. Once you're done with that, there shouldn't be too many problems with your writing. One more important thing is that I'm not with the you-know-who flamer and don't mind her (just like I do!)
Anyways, keep up the good work! I expect that you'll be a great writer someday!

It's so sweet !

Very Sweet!1122222222222!

Hey, this story was nice and warm-hearted at the same time despite being short. XD

Dawn is such a sweet person because she seemed to know the best way to cheer up Ash when he was depressed.

ShadowMann (Also known as TimistheMan)

I was expecting something angsty since its Paul they were talking about but that was short and sweet. I like pearlshipping. Dawns always up to something lol

This a good chapter but u should continue wiv the story and maybe make there relationship even stronger.

fluffy romantic, adorable, beutiful, short, sweet, an absolute masterpiece oneshot, and don't listen to the retard below me. love it. FAVE!

~snowy moonlight

[We find our hero lying on his back on the grassy plain. It seems like our favorite raven-haired Pokemon trainer is still sadden about his utterly lost against his rival, Paul.]

Why the first person POV?

['Maybe he is right. Maybe I am weak!']

And also retarded.

You didn't even really describe what Ash and Pikachu looked like.

[Pikachu knew its trainer was faking to be happy.]

Pretending.

[The lost must have hurtled its trainer pride.]

Loss. Words have different meanings, you know.

[Right away, Dawn knew Ash was still hurting inside. "Ash….." she whispered.]

Did she not see him smiling down at Pikachu? It seemed like he was genuinely calm now. Then again, Dawn is a complete retard.

[Pikachu jump into Ash's lap as the young teen rub his Pokemon's head gently with his hand.]

"Jump" should be past tense.

["Then explain to me why aren't you happy?"]

"You" and "aren't" should be switched.

["THEN TELL ME WHY I DIDN'T WIN!" Ash shouted.]

WOW, Ash is bipolar.

[Dawn look hurtled.]

"Hurtled"? WTF are you tring to say here?

["Ash!" she scolded at him as she pull away from the hug and look at him." "Promise or else."]

What is she, his mother?

[as the blue-haired stop tickling him. Once she stop, both trainer stare at each other for awhile.]

The blue-haired what? Blue-haired retard?

["You're welcome. I knew laughter was the prefect cure."]

Then why did she wait until the last minute?

["Oh Ash, you're so sweet." she giggled as she kissed his cheek. He blushed even more.

"Uh Dawn?"

"Yes, Ash?"

"Thank you!" he said softly as he pressed his lips against hers.]

This all happened too fast. Where were Piplup and Brock?

[Awwwwwwwww! What a cute chapter.]

For you to say that means you don't have much confidence in your own writing abilities.

Great Chapter. Lot of Fluff and Romance, and that's a good thing. Really expecting more One-Shots from ya.

Awww I just Love this story so much this is definetly going to go in my favorites, keep up the good work !

Nice one.

soooo good

i got goosebumps while reading this great story

Awesome, could be longer but still awesome!

That's cute