wait kaidi will be like zira I mean she is tough and got red eyes so it makes enough sense for me.

where is zira though and will nala become evil in here and join zira side to kill simba along with sarafina because that would be totes epic!

I know this is getting fairly old by now, but I just wanted to let you know I rather enjoyed this story of yours. Sarafina's descent into ruin was very interesting, as was Scar's indifference to it all. Makes him seem all the more evil. Anyways, I thank you for finishing the story after so long, when it could have so easily been forgotten. Thanks again.

Best fanfiction I've ever read. I've never felt so much emotion while reading a fanfic!

Please keep going on playing favourites it's great and how do I post a story?

This is a very well written and put together story! I thoroughly enjoyed it and couldn't bring myself to pause from reading it for even a moment! It envoked plenty of emotion and suspense, and with an original plot as well! Definitely a favorite I will reccomend to others!

Your writing style is very easy to read, grammar and punctuation are immaculate, but I have an issue with some of your content. It seems to me as if you're condemning corporal punishment, which isn't really fair. Certain personalities need certain punishments to keep them in line. Who are all this busybody lionesses to judge Kaidi on what she believes? If that's the way she was taught, and she turned out well, don't question her methods because you don't use them. Children who are too young to reason with need corporal punishment, to an extent. Won't stop touching the harried cat? A slap on the hand when they are being rough allows them to associate their behavior at that point with pain. I'm not saying whack them with a thorny branch, just show some respect for parenting methods that you don't necessarily wish to practice yourself.

If anyone deserves a smack, it's Kaidi. Just because she was smacked around as a cub doesn't mean that she should do the same to do her. There are other ways of handling things.

Sorry for not reviewing sooner. I guess I forgot to hit the follow button, but am glad I remembered to check tonight.

I completely understand Kaidi's anger for Sarafina, but even after Sarafina's death, I hope she escapes. After loosing her cub so tragically she deserves haplessness with her old pride.

Nala should be a much more interesting character now. I wonder how the other lionesses will react. Now that her mother has passed I suspect a few lionesses will step and and become mother figures to her as she is sort of the only piece of their late cub instead of something her mother "taunted" in their faces. Please don't give up on this.

And here the full tragedy comes to be! Throughout the story, Sarafina's slow breakdown is well done, complete with her trying and failing. I had been hopeful each time she tried, but there ended up being just too many defeats. Goodness, her death is so heartbreaking as a result of this broken pride (the dynamics within it are brilliant, by the way). That Scar had no real reaction was chilling. After all, I think readers were led to think he held something for her after letting Nala live. Or perhaps I was mistaken, that instead he let Nala live because he believed her to be worth setting aside, being that she is his daughter.
It's also not entirely clear to me how old Nala is at this point, but I am curious as to what her role will be from here on. Just as Sarafina worried, Nala now has only herself to truly care for her. But as suggested by the chapter's end, she's coming into being a true, regal lioness.
Thanks for the chapter and continuing this story!

Great story so far, and very well though, however I wasn't expecting and didn't want Sarafina to die, after all the tragedies that have happened and how bad everyone treated her. Who is going to take care of Nala? And why didn't Kaidi finished sarafina off?
I certainly look forward to the next chapter.

Wow. This story just keeps getting more and more depressing with each chapter.

Poor Nala. ,(

Aside from all the plot elements that I personally disagree with (Nala being Scar's daughter, the cubs being killed, and whatever the great spirit is), the story is great so far.

Scar, Sarabi, Sarafina, and Nala are all in-character, Scar especially. The original characters are a nice touch as well, because having Kaidi in this chapter actually helped to lighten the mood a bit. It's nice to see that she's the most rational of them all, lol.

Now, that being said, it is odd that you mention the Machwa pride being west of the Pridelands—which is where Simba ran away to. That's probably not the direction this story is going to go, but it would make an interesting, canon-destroying plot twist. :P

I'll keep reading later, just thought I'd leave this here for now.

This was brillant.

What a twist! I really wasnt expecting Kaidi to be exiled and now shes going after Sarafina!

The Nala and Scar scene was really good. Just enough awkwardness and intrigue to make it perfect.

The scene with Sarafina and Scar was really good. Its so nea that while the characters are so in character everything they do and say is still surprising. I do wonder if aromantic element will surface btween Scar and Sarafina.

The scene with Nala and Sarafina was also very touching.

Oh dear, those hyenas are going to foil the lionesses' plan. Now I am on the edge of my seat!