I love the strategy you put into every chapter. And the dynamics of the village. Of course ppl gossip. I also love how Shikaku is a shadow manipulator and is orchestrating all of this from behind the scenes. I love it all.

What. Is. In. The. Box?!

And Choji nopes the heck out of there. Haha!

This just is beautiful “when Temari got close enough to him that calm expanded to include her, his gravity holding her to the earth and centering her” ... I just can’t express how much I love this story with my caveman vocabulary.

Cockblocked by Kankuro! Haha the best.

And this is the hottest cutest sweetest best first sex ever written. Not even exaggerating.

This is just the best. Neji is perfect. His politeness his stiffness. Hinata is perfect. The shyness and the loyalty. No nonsense Sakura.

And the warm fuzziness at the end with him asking her to stayyyy. Eeeeee! Adorable. Stupid awesome adorable.

Gimme all the fluff! Ayiii!

Their first kisses are the cutest sweetest bestest thing I’ve ever read. Ever.

You’ve nailed their personalities and characters so so well.

The processing and coming to terms. You weave the puzzle together so neatly. It’s amazing. I love affectionate Temari. I just adore everything about them coming together.

Argh! So intense! My foot can’t stop shaking!

Choji crying. Omg. I love them. I love them so much.

I love the banter. I love the sarcasm. I love everything about this story.

Fall. For. Her. Fall for her. Fall for her! I’m chanting it.

Holy cow this chapter is so tense. Danzo’s posture and reactions are so unnerving. And Shikamaru’s tension is palpable.

Holy SHIT. Even after reading this story three times I’m still so stressed that you killed him!

“Nobody would hate that as much as shikamaru” awww man. Bff Choji is best Choji.

Inoichi and Chouza banter! This story just keeps giving. More and more!

Shikamaru bossing Temari made my insides shiver. Damn. I keep replaying it over and over. Hot dang.

Also their reactions are so perfect. They’re 16 and 19. They’re so young. Of course they’d react like this. And panic and be so stressed and want to make the right choice. But feeling out of control because of Shikaku.

Temari smiles and Shikamaru melts. Ayiiii!

Ferret! Always hunting always hunted! Such a perfect parallel!

Could one say that he wanted to be the one to fill her? Too far? Sorry. But I love the way you write.
Ugh. I just get all the fuzzies when Shikamaru thinks about Temari.

I’m giggling at hinata too.

I adore the classroom scene. I adore Shikamaru as a teacher. You astute him brilliantly.

“You’re only weird when you’re confused”! Eeee!

The banter is amazing. The set up is amazing. All of the details are just perfect. You are a brilliant story teller.
I love how you’ve described Shikaku/Yoshino dynamic. I love it. Yoshino being harsher with Shikamaru because subtly didn’t work. Best.

“Kiss me. Yes ma’am” I’m dead. This is amazing.

I love love love how you’ve told the story from each persons perspective. At this point, Shikamaru doesn’t even know that he likes Temari, but everyone else does. It’s just such good writing.

Tsunade and Shikaku’s convo! Ugh! I’m not ready to cry this early in a story.

I love the dive into Shikamaru’s thoughts. Love love. And his jerky exhausted stiff muscle shudder.

You can tell that not only is Temari confident and self assured, but she’s older than he is. He is only 16. You write these characters so well.

Temari’s thoughts are so heavy. You give such good detail. And with such a good flow

You do such a good job at explaining the whys and how’s and background behind dialogue. It’s so engaging.

The dialogue is flawless. Kankuro is perfect. All of this is just so good. I can hear Gaara’s voice in each sentence you’ve written for him.

Like you said, this scenario has been written before, but you’ve written it best. The set up is perfect. It is so so good.

Your analysis of the relationships and clans and dynamics are also flawless. This is just brilliant! Everything about it.

And Shikamaru analyzing everything, it’s just amazing! I’m amazed.

I identify hard with Temari and the misogyny poison she is spewing over. I love this whole story. You brilliant being you.

This is the third time I’m reading this story. I’m new to fan fiction world. And so the commenting had to be dragged out of me. But I’m rereading this with the intent to comment thru it all.

You set up each scene so well. I can FEEL the air in the room. I can hear the footsteps and the face dragging across the pillow. I can hear the weight in Shikaku’s voice. It’s beautiful.

this story will probably never be finished and you probably won't even see this review, but thank you for writing this. i guess from now on, shikamaru and temeri and the rebellion will remain forever poised on the edge of destiny. i don't know if you had an ending in mind, and i guess its just wishful thinking, but in my mind everything works out, everyone gets married, they all have kids, and they all grow old together and occasionally thibk back to that day when shikamaru was sent out on a mission to suna

Holy mother of all. This is amazing. I was squealing like a little girl. I was laughing. I was crying. I swear I thought I had a stroke when you almost killed Shikamaru at the end of that chapter. Thank you for your amazing writing and imagination!

What’s next! Please continue!