This was an interesting and well-executed concept, especially in exploring whether the Himes would suffer revenge from their victims in the Carnival (Shizuru seems to have the most victims outside of the main cast). It does come off as something of a revenge fic, particularly in portraying a largely unrepentant Shizuru (there's the part where she cries while apologizing to Natsuki, and has an ashamed expression before saying "Forgive me" to Yukino and Nao) but a good portion of that essentially comes with the idea of repercussions for the actions taken in the Hime Carnival.

I don't think all of Shizuru's fans, "forget her horrible deeds", but they (or at least, I) often recognize that she, like the rest of the Himes is a usually kind individual who can break under sufficient pressure and do terrible things, but also regret them once she has come to her senses (another theory is that she was brainwashed like Mikoto the entire time). It should also be pointed out that most of the Himes have at least some blood on their hands by the end of the Carnival, even some of the relatively innocent ones (Yukino almost tries to kill Mai, Mai attacks Mikoto in a rage- when it was actually Shiho who killed Takumi- and seemingly kills her, and Natsuki plays right into Yukariko and Ishigami's plan to cause infighting between the Himes).

Another thing that would have been nice to see more of (in this fic and Mai-Hime) was how much the members of the First District knew about or participated in the organization's evil schemes. I suspect that membership was exclusive, and the members had to be committed to the overall goal (if they didn't know how it was going to be accomplished), and be willing to keep secrets and carry out illegal or immoral orders. The question of whether killing them is appropriate is another matter, but I doubt that they were innocent people or unwilling collaborators.

I can't help but feel as though Konoka is something of a tragic figure, sacrificing the chance to see her father in the afterlife in order to pursue vengeance against Shizuru. I wonder if she will, by the end of her life or in the course of an eternity of suffering, come to regret her decision, since revenge rarely gives personal satisfaction. Natsuki seemed to abandon her goal of revenge at some point late in the series, whether because she believed her mother might have been trying to sell her, or because Shizuru helped her to, through her friendship, realize that people can't live alone, giving her something else to live for (This is possibly the thing I like most about Shizuru in Mai-Hime and the Shizuru/Natsuki pairing, and which her detractors seem to forget).

I also have to wonder whether something like what happened to Shizuru would happen to Konoka if someone close to Shizuru became aware of Konoka killing her with Ai Enma. If you wrote this story under the belief that the people in District 1 did terrible things but had people who cared about them, then the same can be said to apply to Shizuru, who has Natsuki (whether it's deserved or not is another matter, but she did forgive Shizuru in the ending), and possibly her own family as well.

Still, regardless of my disagreement with you on these points, you effectively and powerfully show one individual's grief, something the series glossed over, as well as how far she is willing to go to get it. It reminds me a little of "Windows of the Soul" in that regard, although that story is more sympathetic to Shizuru, while not excusing her actions.

Interesting story. Shizuru(HiME) is your least favorite character while she is my favorite character. I am open minded to stories, plus I was curious on what torment you would put her through. I will admit that what she did was horrible, and not everyone at District 1 deserved death. (From what I understand those helpless old women were the heads of the District, probably the reason Natsuki's mother is dead). I for one can't not fathom why people hate her so much though. If Shizuru didn't do it, Natsuki would've, obviously not to that extreme. She had a psychotic breakdown, people minds can only endure so much before they snap, when they do it's hard to control one's sanity, and actions. Also everyone else was influenced one way or another by the whole Carnival fiasco. Yukino was going to kill Mai for the sake of Haruka, if it wasn't for Mikoto who stopped her. Shiho lost it. Mai lost it. Nao, well Nao was being Nao. Shizuru defeated Nao for the sake of Natsuki, same with Yukino. Shizuru lost her mind, attacked and killed Yukino's child, then Nao's. So what makes Shizuru's actions so different from everyone else? Because she actually succeeded? Love makes everyone irrational, especially if the one you love is at risk. All logic leaves the building. As for the forgive me part, I chuckled at it, don't get me wrong I was mad but I kind of expected it. I'm sure she feels guilty on some level, but just think of her character, no one sees the real her except Natsuki. And we all saw how she acted in front of Natsuki when they came back to life. I just can't see the mask wearing Shizuru breaking down hysterically in front of everyone. From what I gathered, no one else broke down for what they did after they came back. I believe they knew that it was the star influencing them. Think of it as a silent agreement, and a silent 'I forgive you'. Shizuru may be my favorite but I love all the characters. Some more than others obviously.

Sorry I just had to get it out. People see things differently, that's how I saw it. I thought I'd share it.

Now back to your story, I unfortunately never watched Hell Girl, I'm gonna have to, it sound pretty interesting.

Where was I? Oh yes as much as I love Shizuru, once again, if I were in Konoka's position I'd definitely send her to hell!(Sorry Shizuru!)

Call me a sadist, but I laughed so hard during her torture. P (Forgive me Shizuru) lol.

How is what Shizuru did to Nao and Yukino voided out? Yeah there precious people came back but Shizuru had nothing to do with that; it was Mashiro's doing. She killed Julia and DIana and killed Nao's mom and Haruka with them. If it wasn't for a fluke, those two would still be dead.

Well, i was very angry at Shizuru too. She IS one of my least favorite characters. I like her Otome counterpart better.

I don't feel sorry for District 1, though. Plotting old bats. Course they're not as bad as Searrs Foundation, but... wre the ones to gather the Himes, instead of letting Fate play its part. Way i see it, the Hime fight would still have happened, BUT some events wouldn't have turned so badly if they haven't. Especially the ones surrounding Natsuki.

I'm not saying Shizuru doesn't deserve Hell. She does. And i'm actually applauding the irony of it all. It came from an innocent... because of the slaughter of not-so-innocent people.

O.O Well, that was intresting...I liked it though, very well written!

Haha, even though you put a warning in the summary that it's not for Shizuru fans, I read anyway. I agree, what she did was wrong and she's pretty much physco insane but if some girl came up to her to and told her that she killed her dad, I don't think she would have reacted with a smile and a 'Forgive me.' But I don't know, I'm not gonna vouch for a fictional character lol.

Huh. You seem like a Manichean yes? Is it inconceivable that an organization like District 1 could easily reform itself had -anybody- survived? Helpless old women? Those were the three heads. They, out of everyone, were the ones that had to die the most to cripple the organization.

There are 2 perspectives for the outcome I've seen in the fandom so far: 1) Most popular, Shizuru is crippled by guilt. But she would do it all over again for Natsuki 2) She regrets nothing as it was the only was to keep Natsuki safe. Both seem as likely as the other. And remember, we never ever see District 1 as a positive organization. All they ever do is distort the world to their whims.

Bottom line, had Shizuru not completely annihilated their organization, they would simply reform and return later. Killing is a horrid thing, that's true. But in a state where your most important person has disappeared, is it impossible to come to the conclusion that the world might as well burn? Remember, Natsuki is the only thing that matters to her. That's why people love her; because Shizuru would do -anything- for Natsuki. Even suffer several hundred deaths to her conscience. I honestly think she would let Ai take her to hell with a melancholy smile.

That was cathartic. I agree with everything you said about HiME Shizuru (and you're right, the Otome version was so much better!). Her fake little "Forgive me" to Nao and Yukino pissed me off so much - it was nice to see her actually suffer the consequences of her actions for once.

And justice is finally served. and the crazy bitch gets what she deserves. Konoka may be spending eternity in damnation with her, but she knew the rules and she died for a truly worthy cause. Great stuff, keep it up man