Amazing just absolutely amazing I love this book it was one of the best I have ever read

Sh

Please write the next chapter already. Thank you very much. I really appreciated it and liked it a lot.

Hr

Rl

Di

Great bad Dumbledore:):):):):)

Ok so while i agree you have some interesting ideas you also have big self made failings.

Ok so what do i mean. Simply put you keep reusing the same subplots again and again. I think in nearly ever fanfix you write harry and Hermione are soulbound. I mean you have over used that plot point almost as much as the fandom on your own.

Secondary your a bit of a hypocrite, what do i mean? Well in "leave the horcrux" you stated you have studies human behavior. Then you go and try to say that Remus Lupin would betray his only remaining friend and the son of the other? Nope sorry that makes 0 sense, someone like Lupin may have felt indebted to Dumbledore for letting him into Hogwarts but potter and black would have built at bigger level of connection that would supersed that of Dumbledore's and while it would have been damaged by the fault imprisonment of black there bond would havr been even strong after he learned the truth and his relationship with Dumbledore left very week due to the very clear fact he did not do his job and ensure he had a trial.

Then ok we you are having the order just be another version of the bad guys. Ok lets suspend disbelief for the moment that somehow this has not blown up in there face's already. I can't see how people like moody (who i can't believe after the tournament can even stand his "close friend ") would go along with it. I hope you don't try the whole drugged or spelled lines as that can't work on Lupin pr Hagrid and mad eye after the tournament would be even more paranoid then ever before.

I do like your wait of having Harry slip by his "guards" a very clever idea.

Gringotts...well lets leave that alone.

Good use of Dobby even if him pulling on his own ears make little sense.

There is a lot of potential in most of your stories but you have fallen into the trap so manu before you have as well. You almost reuse the same stores with just a few chances. Yes JKR seng her fanfic for the last two/three books off instead of the real versions. However can you tone it down a little please. You over power what should be the main plot with what would be and underplot/side plot/ secondary plot line.

A lot of the time it is almost like your writing a ruff over veiw before spending the time to write them out fully. You tend to have massive information dumps and just plow thou things with out taking the time to fill it out and perhaps make some of your crazier ideas believable. It feels lile you want to get to the end quickly and have to add the rest so we the readers have some idea as to what is happening.

Like I said you have a lot of potential and i have both dome the same thing before, as well as read may other authors who start out doing the same. My advice is to take your tims and don't be afraid to take time to unvale surprise and information to the reader as well as to build up your version of the worlds.

I have even faved some of your stories, normaly your longer ones. I hope you of others find my advice helpful.

DMM

"The house was filled with a rather homely feeling"
Homely means ugly, unattractive. So the house was ugly? Really, stop writing until you actually learn English!

Why are you writing in English when you're obviously not capable of it? Your writing and spelling are occasionally atrocious. You badly need a couple of betas to correct your work before it is posted for others to read.

The "dinning" room? Is that the room where they go to make lots of noise? I'm not familiar with that room. I've never known a house in any country which had a dinning room. I've been in lots of houses with dining rooms, but that's not the same thing.

What a strange story.
Remus should not have been one of those with Dumbledore.
Kira

Ti

Yes, you would have been a brilliant author indeed. They should have hired you for Sword Art Online, your abilities in writing characters in depth and constructing a cohesive story are on par with it. Maybe you should ask them to join writing a new season, as your style of writing really fits that series.

dentists are masters of pain