You lying cause this was the best smut I have read from you...first time my butt

Why haven't you written anymore on this story! You can't just stop there please write more you need to please please please even just another chapter would be better than nothing why did you stop writting this!

This is one of the best fanfics I've read so far! I lol'd so hard when sora yelled "you're getting naked!" my mom gave me a weird look because I was laughing that hard. Please continue to write and...maybe a bit more lemon? _;

Ah, SoRiku /and/ Zemyx? Are you /trying/ to kill me? If those “other couples” turn out to be MarVex, Cleon, SoRoku, Roxiri, and Larxel I'm going to die.

Haha. It kinda reminds me of “Welcome To The Dark Side Of The Streets,” 'cause right at the beginning you're all talking about alleys and that's what I thought of when I read that title.

Axel, nineteen? O_o

Fight Club! Lawl. That's what the article reminds me of. Though they never had to rape slash kill anyone.

“'Except for the final test...' The Pyro grinned,

'What's this one going to be? I can take it, got it memorized?' Xemnas chuckled,

'I don't doubt it Axel.'”

Don't you suppose this would all read easier if you put the dialogue with the speaker's name? (“The Pyro grinned” would start the second paragraph, and “Xemnas chuckled” would start the third.) I realize you do this a lot, so I kinda feel like I'm intruding on your style by saying this, but it does get confusing at times.

“He paused to glance at the scientist, 'And the rules are simple.'” That comma should be a period.

Axel thanks Xemnas and Riku smiles? They must have an idea who these twins (I assume Sora and Roxas?) are. Which means they know them from somewhere. But why would they want to rape and kill them, I wonder?

I like the last line. It's just kind of a nice touch.

It's an interesting start. I do like that you're delving straight into the story, even if it is a little awkward 'cause I'm not really sure /why/ what's happening is happening. But I like it that way. Raises my expectations. I can't wait to see what the . . . erm . . . Organization's motive is.

I do have to say though . . . Xemnas seems kind of OOC. Just too . . . evilly. Like, he seems to be toying with Axel and Riku (the catch), and saying that the whole town is “scared senseless,” well . . . I just don't see why Xemnas would be so proud of that. In “Welcome To The Dark Side Of The Streets” he seemed too evil to me too, though I think I forgot to mention it. Xemnas may be an antagonist, but he's not evil. He's a being of nothing, not of darkness. Even when he confronts Sora, Riku, and Mickey, after his life's work has been destroyed by their cause, he expresses no hatred toward them—in fact, he asks for their help. He's really not a bad guy, and I feel you're portraying him unjustly. But maybe it'll be explained once I know what's motivating him. 'Cause he is most definitely the type to stop at nothing (lawl, pun) to achieve his goal.

Quick prediction based on Kingdom Hearts's standings: Roxas ends up joining and Riku either quits or fails the last test.

You like writing rape, dontcha? ;) Hahahaha, well you're good at it. Now I have to figure out if thats good or bad... Well, youre a really good writer. Pshh, Ms. Warning: Bad Writing. Ha! Not true. Is somebody self-concious? *baby voice* Keep writing:)

Xera (*19*)

Haha, I think Sora enjoyed that much more that Roxas enjoyed his.

I can see how Riku and Sora would get attached to each other but, unless Roxas is masochistic in this story he won't get himself attached to Axel. Axel might get attached to him because he already likes his looks a lot and he probably likes his temper? I'm pretty sure he was grinning when Roxas bashed that clock in if he caught that part anyways. XD

what is wrong with you ,you psyco,that's why i love it thought

awesome

Sora doesn't have to get dressed ;)

this story win

no updates fail

update or i kill you. Kidding. I don't even know how I would kill you. And, if I killed you, there would be no more updates. So, you're lucky I'm letting you live.

-J-dawg (I like that name...it's catchy)

Ah, the phone interruption. Gotta love it. And Roxy rape. Who doesn't like Roxas getting raped?

-You should know who this is by now, since I'm the only one reading this because 1) Kat has bad taste in fanfics 2) Jen is eating mango pancakes 3) AJ has probably read this already.

Okay, Jen didn't let me finish my last review, so, here it is:

I like how you portrayed Sora and Roxas as NORMAL teenagers. I mean, so many other people don't (and that's not necessarily a bad thing) but I liked the unusual normality of their lives.

Review for THIS chapter:

I wouldn't complain if Axel started raping me... Just saying. For some weird reason, I also find the characters not out of character. I mean, who knows how many times Axel raped Roxas on the clock tower...

Adieu, for now.

-J-J-Jess

I have to go to the frickin' mall to get Jen some damn jeans, but, *in terminator voice* I'll be back.

Ah, I have a feeling I'm going to like this, too.

-Guess. It's Jess. Ha. I rhymed.

plz continue! its the best ive read on the site! then u cliff hang me! *curses while hanging off cliff*

PLZ MORE!