Wow. This is really good. I can't wait to read more. Update soon okay?

I like it very much! Update soon!

Certainly good

oh I see you change the first chapter and the second good work

very interesting so far. hope to read more soon

go for more!

nicely written

Interesting. Nicely done and written. Hope to read more soon.

Not awful. Wow. Well it may be considered good by many people.

Great story, really good job with expresing Serena's emotions! Maybe a sequel would be good! I konw I would read it for sure!

wow intense but great

I was wondering about the umbrella too! I figured he must have been soaked too if he started walking when the storm was still on. How come Usagi didn't get to get to retaliate with that? Eh?

Nevertheless, I'm tuned. Yeah, plot done to death but you seem to have the pen to back it up (loved the fact that you actually had paragraphs instead of all being ramble dialog) so I'll be reading if you write more ;).

Love,

Lola

While this is a well worn plot, you've done a great job of driving home the emotion of it all. The descriptions are excellent, and it has a nice flow to it, on the whole. I'd like to see what else you have for this.