It's an interesting change of pace from the previous two chapters when things were constantly changing. Having a rainy day after a sad event is somewhat clichéd, but it works very well thanks to the changes in character perspective throughout. I particularly liked the way in which Endellia realized that she'd proven her father's accusation of "not being a Yuke at all" right through her pride. Yet it doesn't feel uncharacteristic of a Yuke to be so haughty, considering how much they pride themselves on their knowledge and wisdom.

Catseye comes across as being a very mature and experienced character, which should come as no surprise to me since he is a veteran caravanner. However, he really contrasts with the younger Selkie characters that often feature in other works, in that though he is confident in his abilities, he does not show off about it and knows his limits. He’s like a typical hero character only having grown up to the point where his immaturity and recklessness have been tamed by experience. In this chapter we see him lost in a world of his own, reflecting on the significance of rain in his life and typically unconcerned about death or the future.

Endellia is superbly well characterised. Her constant desire to rationalize everything she experiences is clear to the reader through her behaviour, and is appropriate for a Yuke without being stereotypical. Her encounter with Iroh is a fascinating example of two people who clash because of two very different points of view. Endellia’s obsessive rationalising is utterly defeated by Iroh’s declaration that he simply wants to mourn for its own sake. I also really like the symbolism of the well filling up with all of Iroh’s sorrows, allowing him to move on with his burden alleviated somewhat.

No doubt you’ll have another atmospheric chapter for us for when the team travel to Tida. The comparison between the sinister spiritual vibe of Rebena Te Ra and the physical, poisonous horror that is Tida should make for an interesting read.

This chapter starts just as strongly as the previous one did, though in a completely different way. I loved your descriptions of Iroh and Lucas’s appearances, especially Iroh’s “chestnut stripes” and his “ornate robes of plum and gold”. You could have just said purple, but plum was a far richer choice of word. That’s the sort of wisdom that shows what an accomplished writer you are, the understanding of exactly what word is just right to describe something.

I have to say, though, that for all the fateful mysteriousness of being “chosen” by the Crystal, it strikes me as a remarkably irresponsible method of choosing caravanners. Not the strongest, most intelligent and most mature members of the community, but whomever the light happens to shine upon. And wouldn’t the caravanners have to stand in precisely the same position each year, to ensure that the only deciding factor was the Crystal’s light and not wherever the candidates happened to be standing?

In a longer story, it would have been better to let the audience see for themselves that Lucas is the dreamer and Iroh the anchor. However, since this was a oneshot, you wouldn’t have had much room for introducing us to their characters, so in this case it was no harm that you decided to tell us that these were the sorts of people they are. Also, there is one factor that detracts from the nasty shock of Lucas’s death, which is the fact that much of the story is told from Iroh’s point of view, thus making it seem more natural to the reader that Lucas would die rather than Iroh who assumed the role of protagonist for this chapter.

Lucas and Iroh are an inspired pair of very likeable characters, and Lucas’s death marks the end of what should have been a lifelong, mutually beneficial friendship. You have the extraordinary ability to imagine complete, three dimensional characters who could easily have taken a life of their own in their own stories, only for the fact that they are killed off as suddenly as they appear. Esther’s little brother Larkin from Little House of Horrors is another good example of this tendency in your writing; it makes their deaths all the more jarring when they occur.

Tragically, Lucas turns out to be just too stubborn to heed his friend’s advice. The lessons that himself and Iroh learned in the Mushroom Woods were supposed to help them learn and grow stronger as they journeyed together through the life of a caravanner. Iroh’s inability to part with the charm given to him by Lucas denies the story’s ending any sense of drama or meaning.

Nonetheless, the Crysila Caravan now has one member more than it had before, so I will be interested to see how the caravan’s future adventures play out with Iroh on the team.

I really like the way you started this story, with the letters from Cecille’s beloved. It shows us, in the most thoughtful way possible, all that she is missing back home-the nephew who is growing up so fast, the death of her mother and the lover who waits faithfully for her to return.

The way in which you introduce the four caravanners is very strange, and unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. As each new voice joins us from deep within the mist, they seem more like spirits returning from beyond than real people, even though their dialogue shows otherwise. I like how random the team seems, with two Yukes and no Lilty. That makes them seem less like a team specially constructed by an author and more like the way a “real” common caravan would seem.

Cecille’s uncanny ability to sense danger must have been born of a lifetime spent constantly under threat from all around. It’s a harsh reminder of the fate that awaits Crystal Caravanners-a life on the road, away from their loved ones, and many a painful early death from the monsters that stalk them on their journey. And yet, her flashback about the flame shows us that even from a young age, she possessed the kind of otherworldly state of mind that one would usually expect of a Yuke rather than a Clavat. The fact that she is having so many flashbacks in this place reinforces the idea that she is barely connected to her surroundings, and is highly appropriate for a chapter themed around Rebena Te Ra. It makes me wonder what it would be like to explore Rebena Te Ra during the middle of the day. Would Rebena and Tida be less scary in broad daylight, or would the tragedies that haunt those places seem even more real in the banal world of daytime?

Cecille’s use of Excalibur reminds me of something I’ve always wondered about the legendary weapons; should characters in a story have to discover the weapon, hidden deep within some ancient cave or shrine, or should they simply reproduce them from a scroll? The latter makes it seem as if Excalibur is just a particularly powerful common sword rather than something special and once off. Totally irrelevant to the story, mind you, but the mention of the weapon there got me wondering.

It’s hard to believe that an action-packed battle could possibly fit in a story with such a mystical atmosphere, but you’ve made it work. It helped that even in the midst of battle, Cecille still struggled to fight off the hallucinations that had been plaguing her all the war through the dungeon. The visions that she experiences remind me of LadyCordelia17’s Secrets of the Lost City. In that story, Khetala tended to think out loud about the visions she was experiencing, and no one so much as bat an eyelid, which rather spoiled any sense of mystery about the place. Cecille’s visions were less wordy and more personal, and she keeps them to herself until she can’t bear it any longer.

That red-haired girl sounds a bit like Princess Tilika from Ring of Fates...would she fit the description of a Clavat princess? She is half Clavat, after all. Then again, you were using this fanfiction as an opportunity to build on your vision of the Crystal Chronicles world, so perhaps she’s an original character. I always liked the way you emphasised the psychological side of miasma exposure, and of course we hear the familiar story of how the Selkies were blamed for the coming of the miasma-at least in your view of things. I find it very interesting how different writers use their oneshots and long stories to advocate their particular interpretation of the Crystal Chronicles world. Given that this story refers to ideas that occur in Tales of Trinity, does this caravan exist in the same version of your Crystal Chronicles world as the Trinity Caravan does?

Cecille’s letter back to Harry was a great way to end the chapter. It leaves us with the impression that Cecille has grown stronger through her encounter with those painful memories, and ties in perfectly with the theme of remembrance. The way Cecille leaves the flower behind on the temple symbolises her new-found freedom from her burdens in a subtle and moving way.

Anyway, I really liked the way you themed the chapter, and all the others, after the months of the year. Presumably this story will be twelve chapters long, then? At any rate, you have exceptional storytelling abilities, and this chapter alone is one of the best written works in the section. Well done! Here’s hoping to see more stories from you soon.

This was an amazing story. It's filled w/ such detail. I have not been successful in even finding the boss so this was sort of a spoiler for me but meh. I love the history of Rebena that u have described but I remain slightly confused.

For instance I'msure that the Selkie's journey through the swamp happened afterwards-they were fleeing from the Liltian Empire. but since i have not seen the inner chamber of Rebena perhaps I will save judgment.I love the letters from Harry and the romance there and Cecille's flashbacks to Rebena's past was beautiful (although tragic at the end. great chapter. now i will go read the others

I definately enjoyed this. You showed the human side of the caravanners, not just the tough outer exterior. You showed how they might not get along, and fleshed out their personalities a bit more. Good job with the excelent writing, Trin, can't wait to see more.

Aww I actually really like Endellia, even if she is a total witch sometimes! I hope you weren't offended when I called her that last time. It's nice to get some tetchy characters.

Currently I think Catseye is my favorite. I liked how you recounted his life's experiences with rain, especially the parts with the mother and his first robbery. I'm very curious about the implication of Cecille being important to him. I'm not gonna lie, I'd ship Catseye/Cecille. Even though canonically speaking it's currently Cecille/Harry. Psh, screw Harry.

I liked that Iroh stood up for himself. It seems like he's growing as a character.

And is it just me, or is Endellia racist against Clavats?

Anyway, a very nice chapter and a good follow up to the January's. I like that February's chapter was a little dreary. It definitely matched the month!

Someday I'll get around to finishing January and writing February. I guess whoever writes March first wins that topic.

Nice one, Trinity! You've got a way with character development that I covet with mad envy.

Once again, Trinity, you've impressed me. As a matter of fact, this could be, in my honest opinion, your best work yet. Truly, excellent job with this story.

The characters in this work are a particular highlight for me. They all exude an air of experience that is so fitting for them given how many years of caravaning they undoubtedly have under their belts. In addition to that, the level of detail put into these characters given that you had a single chapter to relate them to us (at least to begin with) is astonishing. As I continued to read about their journey through the Rebena Te Ra, I felt as though I could practically walk the road with them. I had enough information simply from their interactions with one another to pretty much visualize them completely. By the end of the chapter, I honestly felt like I had known them for longer than just this one page, and that is something to be proud of. Very few fanfictions can accomplish something of that caliber, and a lot of the ones that try to are much longer than this!

I don't really have much to say about the plot that you've thrown these characters into yet, as it's very cut and dry so far. I personally have never played Ring of Fates, so I am completely oblivious to the changes to canon that you made. I think that it seems like quite a reasonable back story to the game, even if it is your own made-up back story.

No, what I'm startled by (again) is the level of detail that you've put into the environments that the caravan travels through. In a similar manner to the descriptions of the characters, I felt as though this story alone was enough to allow me to completely visualize the places that they've been to, even if I hadn't played the game enough to get to the Rebena Te Ra. As I've said before, you did a superb job with this.

I'd like to call a few things into question while I'm here, though. One of the most glaring things that I found while reading this came immediately after Lucas died. Cecille mentioned that they did not have a stone of Life or a phoenix down with which to salvage his soul from beyond the planes of existence. However, I seem to recall a statement from the first chapter telling us that Endellia had in her collection all five of the magicite rings, which I would assume includes a Life Ring, as there is no Clear Ring to speak of in the game. Come to think of it, Aonyx also had a Life Ring with him in the first chapter. Because of this, I must question whether or not Lucas could have been genuinely saved, as I highly doubt that both of these highly experienced members of the caravan would leave something so vital to their survival at home (especially in the year when they pick up two new recruits).

This brings another question into the spotlight. Aonyx tells Iroh as they are traveling through the forest that Endellia has no real experience with the healing arts. If that is the case, why does she carry one of each of the magicite rings with her in the first chapter? This is obviously not as big of a deal as the previous argument, as it could simply be in case of an emergency, but I'm curious nonetheless.

Before I move on with my arguments, there's something bugging me about exactly where Crysila is on the world map. From my understanding as I read the first chapter, I figured it was basically in the same place as Tipa, but the second chapter proved otherwise. I just find it hard to believe that the caravan would go all the way back to Tipa from the Mushroom Forest just to drop off a now-unwilling member when they have a schedule to keep to. I attempted to find the most suitable place for the town, and I figured that it was between Marr's Pass and the second Miasma Stream, but I'm not certain. Clarification on this topic would be appreciated.

Lastly, I'd like to call into question your manner of handling the choosing of new recruits to the caravan. You explained that there are no other variables that would cause the crystal to refract the Sun's rays differently, and that alchemists are baffled by how it does so. Not to get all scientific on you, but there is indeed a way. No matter where Crysila is situated on the map, it must go through seasonal changes. These changes cause the Sun to rise at different angles depending on what part of the year we are talking about, which could account for the changing refraction. Even if the ceremony is conducted on the same day every year, the Sun would have to be in a different place because the typical Sun cycle is 23 hours, 56 minutes, and 4 seconds long (or something like that). So unless the Crysila elders accounted for all of this and have the ceremony roughly four minutes earlier with each passing year, the Sun would refract differently each time. Given the random dispersal of the potential caravan members, game theory suggests that there must be at least one positive outcome from this, which would reduce Lucas and Iroh's involvement with the caravan to pure coincidence by nature of this argument.

I'm sure by now, you're wondering why I'm being so critical with the mistakes I've found. To tell the truth, I honestly liked every single character in this story, but I have a particular soft spot for Lucas, as he reminds me of one of my siblings all too well. Seeing him die has unleashed my skills of reasoning once again, I suppose. However, for every argument I make, there is likely a counter-argument that could prove me wrong. After all, this is a fanfiction, so your explanations don't exactly have to coincide with reality. For all I know, you could be referring to those Rings as Clear Rings, and they didn't have a Life Ring at all. And I must admit, considering that this is a fantasy tale, nobody likes long, drawn-out explanations about how minuscule concepts (like how the Sun rises) should work, especially when they are scientific and based on real-life principles.

Well, now that I've been terribly critical of you and also made myself look completely foolish all in one sitting, I'm quite tired out. This could have something to do with reviewing this in the wee hours of the morning, but what are the chances of that?

In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed this story (as with all of your other ones), and will be anxiously awaiting more of the same astonishing level of detail in the next installment. Until then, I wish you luck in your writing.

~ TitleContreven

How can you wish me a happy new year when you've made me so sad?

Really though, wow. I'm glad you lost some of the mysticism from the first chapter for this one. Considering it's from Iroh's point of view, and he's very much got both feet on the ground, the style fits better.

Scenes I really liked: the new caravanner ceremony, the premonition part, Catseye and Aonyx giving lessons, Lucas's death.

Endellia came across as quite the witch this time. Yeesh. Not sure if you that was your intention. If not, maybe give her a bit more sensitivity next chapter?

Good bit of detail at the end with Catseye napping "fitfully." It gives him the air of nonchalance, but that adverb shows us that he isn't really at ease with what happened.

You used the word bullet in the flower portion to describe how quickly the seed was shot. That's an anachronism, consider a different analogy.

You said you were iffy about this chapter, but I thought it was very good and rather well done, considering you brought in two new characters, made us care about them, and then killed one of them right away. I was actually kind of yelling (angrily whispering) at the screen "Stay, Iroh, you better stay."

Which now makes me wonder. If the crystal chose both of them, in theory it saw potential in both of them. But what if the crystal only chose Lucas too because it knew Iroh would only be prompted to stay by his death?

I'm pretty jealous of your worldbuilding skills, not going to lie. Have you considered writing a fantasy novel before? You'd go far.

Sorry this is disjointed, I might wait to review Gambler's til my thoughts are in better order.

~The ever faithful SasukeBlade

More good writing coming from the Trinity Tree. C:

I must say though this story made me very sad. It was so soon, so quick. Iroh tried, but in the end Lucas spelt his own demise through his arrogance, choosing to ignore the lesson that had been taught him soon before, choosing to look past his friend's words as though he was too precautious, though he could have saved his life.

I like the way you wrote this, the flashbacks really added alot to the story, showing more emotion as it was seen through Iroh's eyes.

I hope to see more from you soon, your writing is inspiring.

Haha! Meeth was the coolest character. :) You did very well with this. Your writing is amazing descriptive with a sort of elegance I could only exect from you. all the pieces fit very nicely, everything made sense and you portrade your characters very well. I hope to see more from you soon, and maybe my computer will start working again so I can make some updates myself.

So here I am, just cruising the section like I do oh so rarely these days, and I see your fic. Brand spankin' new. I'm thinking, oh man, Trinity Tree, this is going to rock.

I was not wrong.

This was awesome. I get the feeling you've been working on this for awhile, tweaking parts and even rewriting whole sections, and if you have, it was so worth it. The whole thing just has this polished, loving feel to it.

It was your characterization that got me this time, and your style. It's so different from before. In your other stories the characterization reads almost with a sense of camaraderie, like a friend telling the story of other friends. This story has a different feel. It feels like you know these four inside and out, like you're actually one of them. And you're so subtle with it, and with the relationships that stretch between them.

If I had to make one complaint, and I am hard pressed to, it would be that occasionally Catseye uses very formal diction in his dialogue. Other than that, I didn't even mind the changing of Ring of Fates' canon.

Honestly, this rocked my world. Makes me even want to write again.