Not so fond of songfics usually, but this one was too cool to ignore. LOVED Warrick. )

Wow. This was a pretty good story. Though ther are a few things you could have done to make it even better. Some of your lines of dialoge from different characters are all in the same paragraph, which makes it hard to determine who's speaking at any given time. Each one should have their own line.

A few sentences also got run together without periods to separate them.

It's a good idea to put in a separating line between scenes or when you're changing the pov character, that way the reader is prepared for a change.

Lastly, I feel you repeated a lot of things unnesessarily. It wasn't done word for word, but a lot of your sentences meant the same thing. I think if you cut them down, that would bring your story more to the point a lot sooner and people would be less likely to skip parts just to get to the end.

Otherwise, you've got a great story here, I just think it could be even better.