I would love to say that I knew this was coming but I’m still not ready for it.

I cry cause it’s the end until a new chapter is posted.

But I also would like to say that I think I have been gypped. Would have loved more King’s Own performance time!

I sort of wish the deadliness of the shukusen was displayed as well, BUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END MADE MY EFFING WEEK!

(Minor spelling corrections needed. Most noted: ‘mesmerised’ for UK English, or ‘mesmerized’ for American English.)

So for this one I like how you paced it out a lot more than how it was from the previous chapter. I did have one bit of issue where in one of the beginning paragraphs, Dree had been called Kel in front of Queen Thayet.

Ouna lives again. Unless she is different from Onua, you need to reintroduce her/clarify her introduction in a previous chapter.

In a way I feel like this chapter was a bit rushed and it wasn’t fleshed out completely. As if there were many events you wanted to cram in but not exactly explain the proceedings. It mostly showed in the wat you had some errors and/or incomplete sentences.

In the first half, “Onua” became “Ouna” but in the second half, it was correct.

I am not sure if you lost the spark you had for writing this at this point, but I hope you haven’t.

The anticipation is slightly killing me, but at least it’s not chapter 30 yet.

I LOVE REUNIONS! Oh my. You make me jump for joy.

This has to be my favourite chapter so far. It blended both “universes” in a way that I simply enjoyed.

Silly Neal. Enough said I think.

Any chapter with Jump and Dom are good for me.

Only 8 chapters left. Ugh.

Knight’s practice yard are always empty? Hmmmmmmmmmm...

I originally wanted to review this story during my second read through. However at some point I have decided that the last available chapter of this fic was coming on much too fast than I’d like so I have started to drop you some feedback.

It is a futile effort to delay the inevitable: the current available chapters are soon coming to an end. WHY DOES THIS FIC HAVE TO BE SO GOOD AND UNFINISHED!?

I haven’t read many POTS fics which I enjoyed so thoroughly like this. I love how you interweaved original events such as the Bandit Camp in Hill Country and Owlshollow but maintain a separate “universe”. Examples, the way she dealt with the bandits but remained away from recognition. And she didn’t get imprinted on.

I am also very amused by her start with the Riders. How she basically handled/is handling a version of conflict that she would not normally get in page training. (Non-serious applicants.)

I had often wondered what it would’ve been like if she went to the Riders instead. But you also open up a path where she could have pulled an Alanna and joined the King’s Own. I look forward to seeing more of these new/original events and how this version of Kel handles them.

I burst out laughing with this chapter. There is so much that happened and I loved every moment.

And I love how both the females handled their males the same way. With a little throw into the ground.

This is amazingly written! I do hope you continue it, your ideas are awesome and I can’t wait to read more!

My goodness! I've just been rereading this fic (the improvement from the first few chapters is very good) and that cliff hanger! Wow! I don't even know who it would be! Daine? Alanna? Buri? Maybe someday you will update!

Why did it stop there?! I hate cliffhangers! But I love the story so far