HI!

And... wow, very interesting, i like it and i hope you continue... sometime... soon... ?... please?... pleeeeeeeeease? *.*...

Greetings! n_n

The story is wonderful! Please update soon ! I really love it!

OOH! OH! OH!

Is it possible to be better than the first chapter? I'm not sure.

As before, I love the amount of detail you use in your descriptions. Small things also make it, for example the vase of flowers on Tsunades desk. This is really good.

Let me just tell you how wonderfully crafted this prologue was. It was amazing. I loved the descriptive language in the beginning- I was immediatley caught up in the detai;. Beautiful writing, and mystery was very well established. You have real talent.

Great story. I hope you update soon.

This chapter certainly seems to be an improvement from the pity-party Hinata I mentioned in my last review. Hopefully now that she knows that Neji is being controlled somehow she will stop going along with Rousoku's crazy plan. She can't just sit around and do nothing, especially if her medicine is going to run out soon.

One other thing I guess I forgot to mention before was that I don't understand how Rousoku (and everyone else who wanted to go along with the plan including Hinata) thinks that Konoha will just let a bunch of foreigners enter the village and violently take over one of their most prestigious clans. Because I doubt that any leader of any country (real or in Narutoverse) would just sit back and let something like that happen to their people. Neji might be strong if he gets the Namigen, but there's no way he could stand up to the combined power of the whole village.

Anyway, keep up the good work. There were a few lines in the chapter that I really liked both for humorous and serious reasons.

Kiza showed him! Haha now it's hinata's turn eventually. I hope naruto finds the scroll in the library

Please keep going.

Your story is wonderfull in the way that it contains a lot of details and background information on different things, which is the way I like it. Though could you please incorporate more japanese in to your story?

The plot thickens!

You have a nice story going here. Interesting plot, good writing style, no major spelling or grammar problems. I really liked the way that you kept Neji's identity hidden in the beginning of the story where he is just a nameless, shadowy figure talking to Rousoku. The fight scene was nicely done, but it left me wondering whether Neji won because he figured out Ingou's abilities or if the whole thing was a set-up and Neji already knew about how Ingou fought from Rousoku.

I do have an issue with your story though, and it centers around Hinata. Just the way that you have been writing since about chapter 5 has made it seem like one big pity party for her. She actually tries to stand up to Neji and speak her devotion to Naruto. That is the high point for her. From then on, she cries and pities herself. She resolves to change herself and stand up for her beliefs and not let others control her, but that is exactly what she does. She agrees to go along with Neji, the one who just treated her like trash, when it will ruin her life. How is that being like Naruto and standing up for herself? And then Naruto starts coming onto her in chapter 10 and she just turns him down? WHAT? She has changed herself, but it has only been negative, despite her internal monolouge. She was actually standing up for herself against Neji before she resolved to change. That was what Naruto would have done. Fight for what you want and what you believe in no matter how much people tell you that you will fail. The Hinata who gives up on herself, her love, and her dreams is nothing like Naruto and doesn't deserve at all.

Don't get me wrong, the story is good and I will definitely keep reading it. It's just that the 'change' Hinata was said to have made completely goes against her future actions of giving up, and that bothers me. Your writing contradicts itself, so I wonder why you even put that scene in at all if that wasn't going to be how Hinata acted. Plus I just don't like to see Hinata sad in general in stories, but everything can't be flowers and fluff now can it?

what the fuck! did NOT see that comming! holy crap!wow...wow

I hope somethin good will happen soon!

These chapters, the writing, the flow of the story is so magnificent. You should start on the fic of forthcoming predictions of Hinata on the confession she had made towards Naruto, when she sacrificed herself. It will make a lot of us just drool to possibly know what happened after she confessed, is still Naruto going to ignore her? choose to have comfort with Sakura or etc?

I'' trust you'll be the best author to predict, I read quite few but none has really affect me really, you're good.

: keep it going...

i think u did a good job! the thinking i like the most is when u said "They mock me now, but they will call me... a hero." that get me ever time!

This is an amazing story! I love the whole idea of a Hidden Branch! Good job keep it up and update soon please :-)