I think that it means Neji is finaly at the end of his patients and can't take it anymore. He has snapped, and I think that's what the title, "Broken Twig" is supposed to signify.

Ah! Don't feel discouraged- you have the POWER OF YOUTH ON YOUR SIDE! *Gai sparkles appear magically*

Seriously though, so far this is really interesting. I'm always surprised that more shinobi don't do missing-nin, and I love stories that explore the possibilities. Yummy, yummy, possibilities...

:D

only one reveiw? wtf this is such an awesome story, the plt description etc. are all amazing! hope you update soon!

Broken twig huh ?

I bet it has something to do with the BRANCH family ! Nice title ! I hope you will update the story soon !

It's pretty good, although there is not much written at the present time. Now, will you stop bitching at me?

Aw, so sad first chappie! XD

It was good though.

Hiashi is such a bastard. D

Green with envy, and then let's Nezuma die!

Hmm.. it was interestin how Nezuma wasn't actually a Hyuga.

Aww, I hope you keep writing and update soon again!

I want to read more, now that Neji's actually born. XD

Hmm. I shall reserve judgment for now. It's far too short, even for a prologue, IMO. It seems like you spent only a very few minutes on it. Also, the formating is odd, at least on my computer, with sentences being cut off mid page and with spaces between them that shouldn't be there.

I suggest you take a few minutes to add a bit more detail and emotion to it. It's important to make the beginning of a story engaging, so that it catches people's attention and makes them want to read more.

Just because it's a prologue, does not mean it has to be short. I've read prologues before (in actual books) that are almost longer than the following chapters. A prologue is an introduction to a story. It should set a mood or a bit of backstory.

The very first line is okay. Not great and it could use a bit of work, but it has potential. If I were writing it, I would add a bit more detail. For example, "Time, ever elusive and fluid, often seems only to creep by at a snail's pace. Then, when least expected, it rushes past in a flash with riptide force, dragging you along and pulling you under. Then it's gone, never to return, and it leaves you forever changed."

However, having the first few lines dealing with time makes me think that this is going to be a time travel fic, which I doubt.

Then, there's also the fact that you have Neji not remembering his childhood or teen years. "What?" I say. "Why would he not remember? Does he have amnesia?" Neji, especially the Neji from my bunny, seems more the type to remember everything that happens to him and possibly catalog it away neatly in his head for future study.

Also, 21 is a bit old to begin the Missing-nin bit. I know I didn't stipulate an age, but I was hoping for younger. Maybe 16 or 17, around Shippuuden age. Or even younger, such as just after the Naruto/Sasuke Death Match at the Valley, during the timeskip. But, in the end, it's up to you. I have faith that you can make it work. Just remember that most ninja don't seem to live that long. I'd think that by 20 or so their lives, or at least their usefulness as ninja, would be half over.

If I understand it right, the prologue is a much older Neji reflecting back on how he came to that point. If that's true, I'd give more details of his surroundings. Without knowing how you're going to end the story, I can't give specifics, but showing him gazing out a window at the sky or drinking tea or watching the waves crash on the cliffs below or maybe listening to children laughing and playing. All those things would draw me in better and make me want to read more.

I hope it's not going to be entirely from first person POV. I have a serious dislike for that POV. Very few people seem to be capable of pulling it off well.

I hope you don't take this for a flame. Your profile makes me think you're one of the few people who can tell concrit from a flame and I really do want to help. I really want to see this written. I haven't read any of your other work, but you seem to be an intelligent and capable writer. Maybe you just had an off day with this. I know I've been guilty of the same, many times.

And to answer the PM: I'd rather read it as you post it and be surprised. Of course, when it starts getting really interesting, I may demand those notes. ;)

It's fine about the NejiKisame. None of the pairings I listed are requirements, just suggestions. I just thought it'd be funny to see Neji spurn the attractive Itachi by getting (briefly) with the creepy blue guy. XD Kisame doesn't have enough fans.

Can't wait for the next chapter!