Holy. Cr*p.

This was... There are no words, dang it! *gets a dictionary, doesn't use it*

This was absolutely amazing! *uses dictionary for roasting marshmallows and making s'mores!*

It's actually pretty ironic that the best OC's in the Jhonen section are always killed. I suppose that's the nature of the book, anyway. Your characterization really is brilliant, though.

Please keep writing here; it's nice to find quality Johnny stories.

sry for not logging in but this story was amazing! you really caught nny in charector

That was beautifully written, and there were some really strong points. I have to admit that I am not fond of happy endings, so for this I congratulate you.

I absolutely love this story :)

This was beautiful. The mirror bit from the comics has always been one of my favorite Johhny musing moments and you incorporated the feel of it so beautifully in this story. I love how you continued from the girl's POV even in her final moments. Very well written and overall an excellent story.

-Opal3

In all honesty, this fic was quite good. You do a great job with creating short sentences that really convey a disjointed feeling that adds to the piece. I also think that you have some really touching lines in this story, such as the parts where he thinks about how he belongs neither in heaven nor in hell, and where she is watching television and reflects on the evil she sees on the planet. It was very poignant.

Also, your description of the action scenes was fine, or, at least, I think so, although I admit that action scenes aren’t my strength when it comes to writing them, so you can take what I say on them with a grain of salt.

The image of glass was very well-executed throughout, too, and I liked how it tied in with the title, which itself contributed to the tone of the story.

Normally, I would advise against people using so many point of views, since it can be confusing and stories are generally better told from one perspective, especially by inexperienced authors. However, I think it worked this time, mainly because the transitions added to the tone of the work, as they contributed another element of instability to a piece that was meant to be disturbing on some level, I believe.

Your spelling and grammar was also pretty good. However, you did have some missing commas, and you should write dialogue like this:

“I believe in heaven and hell, but I’m still not sure if there is a God or a Devil,” I said slowly.

That is, with a comma at the end instead of a period. Other than that, it was really quite good. Congratulations.

This story was brilliantly writen and a wonderful plot to go along with it. Please, write more. You have a wonderful talent.

Love,

Invader Jay

So very powerful. It's sounds so much like what jhonen would put into his own comics. I really really like this. It's most definitely going in my favrorites. Good work.

That was amazing. That was really amazing.I couldn't help but realise this would be a great performance piece. Just a guy and a girl doing each part. T'would be truly amazing.

Wow! This story is amazing, Johnny's not out of character and his musings are interesting to read, the writing style is amazing, but if I may suggest; the paragraphs are too close together and because of this some of it is hard to read (although all of it is written beautifully!), perhaps seperating them would make it easier? Other than this I can find no fault. Good luck with future writing endeavors!

"... And of course, my hand will hit only glass."

*squee*

I thought that last line was so good ... on top of that, I thought the whole thing was brilliant! I like the way it was split into both their points of view too.

Great!

~Fish Finger~