wonderful! i nearly cried. Touching moments between obi-wan and qui-gon. very well written and i hope you continue.

Longer than I usually like to read, but I just had to keep reading because it was so good. Poor, poor Qui-Gon. I like this version of The Call To Vengeance way better...

Nicely done! Good characterizations and dialogue.

wow that was pretty cool. i'm not sure i9 like the concept of the story with Qui-gon hurting Obi-Wan like that. i kno that if that was how "A Call to Vengance" ended i would have been very sad. now don't get offended the story was very well written. most of all i loved LOVED the way you potrayed the Obi-Wan/Bant relationshipe. Obi-Wan was great in general how you portrayed him. i thought it was great. although i think you would do a lot better if it was another story. you're a great writer and you protray the jedi apprentice characters very well. especially the mad yoda that was kick ass! when he hit Qui-gon with the staff? awesome! i think you did a good job only i don't like teh plot. and i also wish you had seperate chapters. having it on one page like that made it very difficult to read. i think you would do great if u had another story with a different story plot. is that ok? don't be mad. i think this was very well written. good job!

That was pretty good. The grammar could be a little better though-you used "It's" instead of "Its" when you were talking about possession. And I believe one would say, "You are A Jedi" not "You are Jedi". I thought it was a nice touch when you contrasted Obi-Wan's mistrust in Qui-Gon with his trust in Mace right after he was injured.

Goodnight! I have never read better! You obviously know something about Jedi Apprentice. All your facts were 100%. Definitely the way to end it. You sound like Jude Watson herself and I'm not kidding

It's really good and a much more intersesting ending than the one in the book. You should write more chapters, you really should.

Holy smokes! Wow! That was an amazingly done tale, and the way it should have been written in the first place. Congrats on a supurb story!

That was perfect! A perfect ending, a BETTER ending. So much better. Oh ideas! Lots of ideas to use! Very very good!

That was a much better ending. The swearing is not like them, but other than that, it was great!

Chapter One...you mean there will be more? Yay! This was very well written. Even the Jedi wisdom came out sounding...well, like true Jedi wisdom. _

I liked this. This is how it should have gone.

Seems keep writng and I will keep ewen

Wow... Amazing! This was much better than the real ending... Tahl's disembodied voice? Pah! That's crap compared to the wonderful story you've made!

Wow, that was awesome. This is a great alternative ending to the book. We all know they'll be okay and everything, but you can keep going with this. Keep up the great writing! I hope to see more.