xD I love this story ! it's funny

That was cute but first of all it was very fast paced and detailless.

Second Pikachu HATES his pokeball and probably wouldn't go in it even if they were having sex in his plain view they would just be shocked.

Third and lastly Pikachu is incapable of jumping in a spare pokeball he needs to be in his own which ash does carry with him.

This is a cute oneshot. Poor Pikachu *smiles*

The story went a bit too fast, but it was all right. I was rather amazed at how pikachu jut jumped into one of Ash's pokeballs when pikachu's known to absolutely hate those things, even if it wanted to avoid seeing Ash and Gary doing anything.

Well... It's okay. You didn't seem to put much effort into this. You skip over small details that, while small, make all the difference between something you enjoy writing and something that is actually of good quality.

damn! SO CUTE! XD! Need more details!MAN!

Poor Pikachu, he had to here ALL THAT.

lol well this is the first time i read a pokemon fanfic and it was highly amusing:)

good job.

I couldn't help but laugh at this chapter, not because it was bad but becuase I find the GaryxAsh pairing hilarious.

I bursted into laughter when Ash said 'Your warm'

Hope this wasn't found offensive in anyway...

yay it's the oneshot i asked for. Poor pikachu, i feel sorry for him. Thx for uploading