Posted 27 October 2013, at the Starwarsknights web site and the Lucasforums Coruscant Entertainment Center in my The Critic's Two Cents. I was posting directly to the actual story threads, but had problems last year so I was stymied in my attempts to post the reviews. But you on fanfiction deserve your reviews, even if I am running late. But I'm catching up as you read this!

Three Years post TSL: A new danger arises

The piece is a first work, so I will be gentle. It primarily needs polishing, as the flow tends to be bumpy when you get to the dialogue. Polishing is actually easy, though it might sound hard, try this; when you come to a portion of dialogue, imagine a movie scene, and speak the dialogue aloud. When you do, and the scene progresses, you will notice where the words don't feel quite right.

Now rewrite the segment, punching it up to make it flow better.

The basic idea is interesting, as we know neither of the original heroes are still around to help. The points I considered most interesting is that we now have a provenance for how Jolee died, and that the new Jedi Academy's location is still a secret.

As far as insanity goes, dancing and singing with half-dead zombies seems pretty close to the mark... Though I guess if you wanted to make him even more insane you could try throwing in a few inexplicable mood swings...? That or give him hairy palms... :-p

Anyway, really good chapter, keep it up!

pretty good! the plot is interesting and well done. Try to focus more on description, but this is a good story.

ohh! Tense! Characters great so far, well written, no "they would never say/do that" moments I thought... Can't wait for the next chapter!

Great job! That chapter was very interesting and i can't wait for an update now, well done.