I love this story! I love Kara's character, she's so sarcastic and funny and she's so relatable. Even more than Kara herself I loved the Kara and Jarek relationship/back and forth thing they have going on and that kiss was the cutest. When I read the summary I thought that Kara was going to end up having feeling for Zeb, I guess I'm not as clever as I think. I also loved the Katniss part, I loved seeing what the mentors do in their little mentor room and the bet was funny. Is there any part of this story that I don't love? Oh yeah, tha fact that it isn't finished :'( update pleaseeee

A few things:

-Start a new paragraph when somebody is talking. In the first paragraph you have two different people talking.
-Add commas or periods (depending) at the end of the dialogue.

And now for the story itself

-Her sister was not the fighting type and didn't survive pass the cornucopia.-

You don’t need to be a fighting type to survive the cornucopia. You just have to leg it.

-I'm pretty good with swords and knifes, not to bad with spears and am miserable at archery.-

Swords? Why swords? How are swords useful in any way? Yes, in HG they have them, but they’re impractical because the other weapons listed are much better than swords. You don’t go hunting with swords anyways, since this is how I’m assuming she was good at the other weapons. Although this raises a few other questions. How did her mom know how to use these weapons? Where did she get them?

-Now this does not make me a career, I don't plan on ever being in the games, this is just a precaution. I'm the only person my mother has left she has made sure that if I'm picked for the games I could come home.-

Yeah, that still makes her a Career. She’s training to stay alive. Isn’t that the point of having trained kids?

I notice that a lot of Katniss is mirrored in this girl. She’s good at survival skills, her father died, and she doesn’t have a strong relationship with her own mother.

- "Look Kara you asked, and don't worry, you stand a great chance of winning anyways with all the training your mom gave you so it wouldn't matter if you were chosen anyways."-

So everybody else is okay with her being trained?

-attempting to jab her with the edge of my sword, but she blocked it of course, I'm not sure why but she's so great with a sword. -

Contrived.

- Pity was filled in everyone's eyes as I walked on stage, none of them seemed to think I had a chance. But I hope I have a chance, I'm not stupid I know it's not a big chance, but still a small chance.-

So nobody else knows she trained? And why is she acting like she has no chance. She got training from her mother. That’s more of a chance than most of the other kids get.

-Zebulon Pike—

The name could use some work, though. Its sounds very awkward on the tongue.

Kara’s reasons for hating him do not at all warrant her hating him that much to the point where she wants him to die. Yes, its sad and understandable that he would lash it out on her because he lost his father, but to hate him because of it is stupid. It doesn’t even seem like Kara tried to reason with him at all. And to have this as the reason why her mom trained her? Come on.

So far, its rather bland. There are some things that can work if worked on a little more, like the relationship between the mother and the daughter. Mom wants her daughter to survive, and she tries really hard. She has to do it in secret because of the stigma for training kids to have an advantage. After all, her daughter winning means a son from that District dies, as well as kids from the other districts. She has to think about all of this and somehow brush it aside to train her daughter. She won’t be good at everything, no, because that’s unrealistic. She would have to watch previous games and pick up how those who know how to use weapons use them. She can look up books on the subject if that’s even possible. Arrange a meeting with the victor, if that’s possible.

Also, Zebulon being evil for Kara to make it that much easier for her to kill him is stupid. Unless there’s some predictable twist where he realizes he’s been selfish all this time and apologizes before he dies by somebody else, its still stupid. Try not to make the characters one-dimensional either, and that goes for villains. It makes the story very polarized and thus predictable.

THE NAMES YOU CHOSE WERN'T TERRIBLE! I know this because in my story the main character is called Kara, this is mainly why I started this but oh well, I like it so I might read some more!

I really like your story :) I find stories that aren't submit-your-own-tributes so much easier to read, and I don't like reading about every single tribute's reaping, every single tribute's interview and every single tribute's death. Your characters are so easy to relate to, and I want to keep reading. I know you haven't updated this for almost exactly a year now, so it's improbable that you ever will finish it, but I just want you to know that if you do decide to keep writing, I'll definitely still be reading :) don't give up, because your writing is definitely some of the better stuff on this site xx

AWESOME STORY! update soon, i love how you had the romance develope, Kara is a good character, she's suspicious of Jarek and his reasons for being with her. But all in all they make an impressive pair :) Update soon!

~HunterofArtemis1136

Overall I think your story turned out pretty good it didn't follow the original and was made up of your own idea's. Oh, and by the way Katniss is OOC but then again she's supposed to be older and it's not written in 1sr person. Update soon!

i think youre very talented if published this i would seriously buy it. i wish you would finish it

yay, your back! (:

i have just got back into reading

hunger games fanfics and here you are! lol

this made me feel better (headache) i hit myself

in the forehead with my tennis racket :S

but yay your here.

and fabian was the evil one. he seemed nice.

i know someone called fabian. lol.

kalina ran away. i thought she would kill fabian and then be allies with kara and jarek. but obviously, i know nothing :P

now its only 2 careers? and a few other people? (how many?)

update soon. (:

pleease.

this is one of my favorite fics I love it :)

I'm sorry I didn't review the previous chapters but me and my computer were having issues

I hope you update soon cos I can't wait to find out what happens next

rowan x

Sorry, not 5 more. My parents send me to a fancy school and I can't do math. Whatever. Well, I hope to see more in the future.

Sorry I haven't been reviewing. I have had sports as well and butt loads of homework. Dang college prepatory school. Well, I love where you are going with the story and I hope to see more. I just started reading and I have...I think... 5 more chapters until the end of what is so far. I am not angry, I understand that school can get in the way of fun :(.

good chapter! i wondered what would happen to the alliance! please update soon! Good to know you haven't got SF! D

XXRainstormXX

Yay! you've finally reviewed :)

review again soon please :D

your writing has really improved! excellent! this is a great story, i look forward to (hopefully) faster updates!

Great chapter, how many are left now (including Jarek and Kara).