Awesome

I loved it.

Not trying to be at all offensive or negative, but I think you would do well to get a beta to edit the chapters.

Great story!

Really fast paced maybe lacking in a little detail and description but it was a nice full story which wasn't too felt a little rushed

This was a pretty good story!

"But because you are what you don't believe he can't." doesn't make sense.

my sister would love that

O-o ...nope...

Love this story!

Lol looks like oberons sleeping on the couch tonight.

Toby's "Hungary"? You mean he's a Middle European nation whose capital is Budapest? :D

Also, it's dining room, not dinning room. And again with the fifth-teen.

And why for the sake of the Labyrinth itself does Jareth have to sleep on a sofa in his study? He's the KING! He lives in a CASTLE! I'm quite sure there's a spare bedroom he could use, just for now. It's all these little dumb things, again, that really undermine your story and annoy the reader.

And in the previous chapter, you were totally confusing about who Jareth's father. It sounded as if Tynan was, or even Keiran.

Once again: fifteen, not fifth-teen. It goes like this: thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen. You're so consistent in your misuse I fear you were badly taught and remembered all too well...

It's generally and historically Oberon and Titania, not Tatiana, which is a Russian name, but of course you can do as you please. It's also "taught", not "teached", and "have chosen", not "have choosed." Such mistakes (and your poor punctuation) greatly diminish your authorly authority and make people think you're careless and uneducated. Which is a pity, because your stories are terrific otherwise...

just curious but did you get the name keiran from the wicked lovely series?