I love this story :)

You'll make more chapters right?

Awsome story! XD

I wonder where Zexion is going to take her...

Please update soon.

T.T I love your story. Please continue. You're doing a fantastic job!

This fic is nice! Keep going plz.

I'm always a bit cautious when it comes to reading fic on here, despite the fact that I'm an author too, and I'll admit openly right now that your summary didn't give me much hope. As we all know, dealing with OCs in any kind of fandom is always particularly tricky. Still, out of morbid curiosity, I checked the one other review you had and felt maybe just a teensy bit of hope. Like I said, I am a bit cautious when it comes to fanfics sometimes.

I might seem a bit nitpicky in the following comments (I reviewed as I read), but I've always found that it's the small details (no matter to what) that really make a fic fantastic.

For the most part, everything seems pretty decent with grammar and punctuation, although you seem to be missing quite a few commas. Might want to watch out for that.

Also, most people are rather suspicious of OCs, so you'll really have to work to make Erika likable and not appear as a Mary Sue.

The first chapter doesn't seem that bad. Admittedly, you seem to be forgetting commas, and you misspelled 'does', but hey, it's a mistake anyone can make. I was a bit iffy one how Zexion and Axel had a bit of small talk, but that wasn't such a big deal either. After all, Zexion did allow Axel to get somewhat closer then was wise in CoM.

Also, for no apparent reason, the idea of Saix saying 'a tad' amuses me. Then again, ha, I'm an easily amused person.

Onto the second chapter...

You might want to be careful with the 'mansex' joke there. By this point, the fandom has long since grown bored with it unless you're really clever with it. Also, I kind of doubt Xigbar would call his boss that. Just a personal opinion, 'tho.

I'm a bit confused at how one looks as if they've just seen something inappropriate, besides blushing and wide eyes. That really doesn't seem like a Lexaeus thing to do, especially with something as small time as Xigbar using the mansex joke in the presence of Xemnas.

With the whole memories thing, where Xigbar says he can't remember his life as Braig, I'm going to have to point out to you that's not true. Memories are what allow a Nobody to fake being a 'real person' so well. Just about everyone in the Organization save Roxas should remember their past lives. Just thought I should point that out.

You haven't given any explanation as to why Erika was brought to the Castle That Never Was, but I'm hoping that you'll explain that in the third chapter.

Speaking of which...

Xigbar comes off to me as a fairly confident dude. It's hard for me to see him twiddling his thumbs. Of course, this is his niece, who he's never heard of, so perhaps his nervousness is justified.

I'm quite amused with how you had Xemnas explain Saix being in charge for a bit. It makes it sound as if Saix is a substitute teacher.

Erika seems a bit too calm, considering everything that's happened to her. Xemnas (who, at first glance is fairly intimidating with his stare and Black Coat of Awesomness 5) has just taken her from her home and introduced her to a bunch of other strange people in the same Black Coats of Awesomness as he's wearing. She's just been informed that some rather weird guy with an eyepatch is a family member of hers, or at least the Nobody of said family member. It's not very realistic of her to just go "Well, there you have it, let's take that tour!" She doesn't even know if that's really her uncle.

Zexion's comment about Erika being a strange name strikes me as odd. After all, Organization members probably travel all over the place and have heard tons of different names and languages. Erika is probably the least weird thing Zexion's ever heard of, especially considering how many books he devours.

I doubt Erika's the first person to call Zexion by a nickname like that. It's canon-proven that he's been called it before. (By Axel, right before he killed him. )

Good job on having Zexion notice how cheerful Xigbar is acting around Erika. It's just the sort of thing he'd be carefully observing.

I have no idea why Erika is so happy when it's acknowledged that she and Saix have met. Unless they share certain hobbies (such as freaking out and killing everyone under a full moon because of Berserker rage), I have the feeling a sane person would be terrified out of their mind, or at least very uneasy, when meeting Saix. I mean, Axel was nervous about him. That should tell you something.

I'm not quite sure why Zexion would be unsure about Erika being a Nobody. Even not taking into account his super insane sense of smell, he was told by Xemnas what she was. To a degree, there is a level of trust amongst the original six.

I doubt Saix would speak in such a manner to Zexion. He's always struck me as the type to respect his superiors (mostly The Superior, but all the other members probably count too). Still, he's just been granted official In Charge status, so maybe the power's already going to his head. You might be onto something.

I burst out laughing at what you said about Marluxia and Larxene. At least Xigbar knows better, so I'm going to assume that the two of them are just putting up an act for the newbie.

I am feeling very... awkward about the whole things with nicknames. I can't imagine any of the Organization taking well to them, except for the more easy going ones such as Demyx.

Zexion is pretty familiar with Xigbar's invasion of space, actually. There's a cutscene where he does the same thing, and Zexion just kind of sighs and lets it go. I'll be more then glad to link it to you, if you'd like.

Ah, I loved it x)

And may I just say i likt the title too xD

I love Zexion's somebody name ;-;

It makes me want to glomp him more xD

Awesome job~

Keep writing ;)

~Sky