Great three chapters. Maybe an excellent story.

Great case, with a well-thought conclusion in the end!
it's pretty vague who the real culprit is in Touch Detective (since the world has fantasy twist and the characters are very unique)
And yeah, I didn't really think it was Shorty until that small detail in the middle.

Such a wonderful work of a case, this might as well be featured as the fifth case in the actual game! XD
Keep going on this, as I would love to see more Touch Detecive cases from your creative mind :)

Great chapter! Great investigation, and you don't forget about Funghi.
You also cats the suspicions and hidden intent of malice of both the old and new characters. The suspects are quite broad-ranged and interesting.

About Dexter... is it THAT Dexter? Dee Dee? Ow, crud! Didn't see that comin'
one thing though... It makes sense to actually have a boys' apartment, but the characters introudced there were quite plenty, so it's alittle confusing at first.

Other than that, a great chapter, has exactly the charm of Touch Detective game.
Keep up! XD

Such a great take on Touch Detective! XD
You made it almost exactly like how the game does, which is pretty impressive.
Mackenzie's inner monologue was awesome, other characters were very in-character, as well. I like Chloe's cockiness (pretty tsundere!)
Lynsey is even there!? I'm surprised, since she's kind of the 'mastermind' behind the 2nd case (she's still a kid, so maybe that's why the cops can't arrest her, or because she was just mistreated by the planetarium guy) :O

Maybe Penelope isn't 'attractive' enough, since she didn't become a trouble magnet for once (which annoys me in the whole game... although I know it's just her being a pure person). But I prefer her like this.

You portrayed new characters very well, and fits the weird world's atmosphere perfectly.
Sorry if I said too much; your story's just pretty damn good.
I'm so reviewing next chapter too! XD

Nice. It's like I'm playing the game.

Beautiful

Great. How suspenseful and well written

Neato

its really good, mabey you can make another episode... im addticted to it to, iv played the second one 100 times if not more, waiting for the next one to come out

It's sounds good but I think it would be better if you used "" when someone talks. Sort of like this.

"We were having a party. It was just a random party because the baker lady had too much supplies." said Kage.

I know that is how it is in the game but I don't think it would be a good idea to use it in a fic. Your fic does sound interesting and this section really NEEDS fics. Good luck! -

I like this! I really do. Can't wait for the other episodes!