This novel is old and done, but still one minute there are 20 ships and thats mighty as than wham quadrillion ships is just a scout force

This story was fun up until the star trek verse. The void keeper just spoiled the entire story. Really just your political intrigue with sgc and him was intresting enough. Then you added other flavor that wasnt needed turning what was an intriguing masterpeice into a bland story. All of that life and unique flavor you gave to it is all gone now.

I’ll jump off here. Hopefully your zerg story doesnt suffer from too much... too muchness.

...that was stupid...if I can instantly realise that fury is his counterpart he definitely should have...

This story is so awesome. I haven't stopped reading since i found it Friday night. I have not been getting much sleep. Keep it up.

AWESOME

Problem with this chapter. Count Dooku was not a count when he was in the Jedi Order. Like the monastic orders the Jedi does not allow a person to have property as stated. He gained all of his wealth AFTER leaving the Jedi Order and inheriting his family estate.

... The change to order 66 is mind blowingly dumb. How is any fucking clone supposed to obey such a nonsense order? Just say what you written out loud and pretend to be a soldier hearing that in the field. I swear one of the clone commanders will say "What did you say? Order 66? huh... Bang Bang." pointing his gun without firing at the jedi. "Yea Chancellor their super dead alright". Sidious not buying it since he can't feel a dam thing and knows that many deaths should send ripples in the force. "I said ORDER 66! Dam clone obey! Your supposed to obey!" He doesnt know why their not since their supposed to have chips in their heads making them too (basically like how your nanites work but bio-engineering)

God I think the only reason I'm continuing to read these chapters is because I love the premise of your story. The execution is so rushed, so much showing not telling, characters are forced many of the times by actual mind washing deus ex machina that isthe mind control drug to things contrary to what they want etc.

"suspicions of the force" God I rolled my eyes at this. This is multi-reality shifting were talking here. There is no dam guarantee it even operates on the same natural laws as your own universe is governed. No guarantee Prior knowledge or Asuran research would even be applicable in the SW universe.

Thinking that is a huge god dam jump to that conclusion. Supremely arrogant and stupid of him to be so sure of that. I kinda want the God Emperor to get bitten on his arse on this one but I doubt that will ever happen.

Loose lips sink ships. I believe that is the saying. Seriously God Emperor swinging your dick around is gonna cause lot of commotion. No subtly. It would only take a single slip up from his new bought puppets to foil his plans. One loose lip saying something compromising to the wrong person. One person sticking their nose in.

Given how the story is written thus far I have my doubts anyone in the SW universe even the great manipulator Sidious will take advantage of that. He will just be made to bow just like every other villain...

The more I think of it the more I don't buy that Kevin Lee is a super brilliant engineer and designer. In Kevin's original reality he was an IT guy. A guy who worked with networks etc there completely different fields. Nor was he a particular genius at it considering the first few chapters, just well off and listless in life.

The reason the main character is so brilliant is partly due to a Tok'ra engineer giving him his collective inherited memories. This universe's Kevin NEVER had that sort of leg up. Not to mention the whole psyche evaluation would be skewed thanks to the integration between IRL Earth Kevin and Stargate Kevin. Specially considering this seems far more successfully intergrated than the case with Carter who could only sporadically recall things from her former Tok'Ra symboites memories. Not to mention the vast difference in life experiences.

It would be far more plausible in this story if stargate Kevin didnt or couldnt make these "wonder designs" for the SGC and took far less credit for them etc. He should stick to support work and psyche evaluation of his other self.

"Free Jaffa Fleet merely seven hundred Ha'Tak." seriously if the Free Jaffa had even a fraction of the numbers in this fanfiction as they did on the show they could have buried the Ori with their dead suffocating them. Doing exactly as was described here with the JFL and the Imperium fending them off with sheer weight of numbers.

These numbers are ridiculous. While I enjoy elements of this story it is abundantly clear you lost complete focus on the gravity of the smaller scale of the show. Your attempts at making this seem a "grand conflict" for dramatic effect are backfiring.

You gotta remember most Goa'uld worlds even if they were numerous most were pre-industrial primitive worlds that had low population density. Ha'tak were built by unskilled slave labor supervised by lesser Goa'uld. The thousands of Ha'tak would not be possible even if they were build over thousands of years, and even if they could have been the Ha'tak would require far more Jaffa than the populations of those worlds could ever hope to support.

You fail to realize the sheer enormity of the productive boost industralization brings. It's basically around the same level as your Asgard beam emitters drydocks are to current day naval drydocks. Your many many times more productive in a post industrial society compared the the pre-industrial. Its why Europe dominated the world in the age of Colonialism and it's nations imperialistic policies.

These numbers for ships are absolutely fubar. The Ha'tak only numbered in the hundreds at the HEIGHT of the Systems Lord's power. Years of civil war, jaffa rebellions etc would make numbers shown with the Lucian Alliance and Free Jaffa League impossible. Unless that is the God Emperor is literally making hundreds of old version Ha'taks for these puppets of his. Which considering how everyone is acting doesnt seem to be the case. In fact its referenced in the Lost Reckoning episode of SG1 that the Fleet of the System Lords contained at least two hundred Ha'tak vessels. Two hundred for all the system lords. This story is quadrupling that figure and making the scales bigger way out of proportion.

If the numbers for Ba'al, Lucian, an all the Jaffa factions added up there would be THOUSANDS of Ha'tak-class vessels over the galaxy. And the number of habited worlds is insane. There were only a dozen or so worlds in the protected planets treaty. You do realize these numbers your throwing out for territory size of inhabited worlds makes existing stargate canon seem rather inconsequential? Right?

I'm yelling out loud "WHAT ABOUT THE TOK'RA SPY?!" Why is Kevin or God Emperor so dumb as to leave Hellac alone?! You might have a Tokra's memories but their not your friends. Their allied to SG1 for Christ sake. Their gonna inform Stargate about your operations if you don't DEAL WITH THE SPY!

No we just must have a tech circle jerk pimping up the Ha'tak and other stuff...

The buildup is going well but I think he relies too much on drones which the asgardians could easily hack...

I think he shouldn't forget his Java as a result.

Also, he needs to get to atlantis before sgc does, its too much valuable tech to leave for grabs. If he can track down some zpes and get it operational and back to his empire before anyone notices, he's going to have a lot more tech and manpower to merge.

I like how he took inspiration from the tie fighter, its propulsion might be shit irl for a fighter, but it'd shape isn't bad at all. Balls and disk shapes are the most optimal for maneuvering in space, provide better deflection against debri.

That said, a brick shape will function work in zero gravity just as well, which is why in scifi like Halo, most ships are blocky, they don't need the curvature of aerodynamics for spaceborn vessels, and with powerful shields, you don't gain that much from aerodynamic angles either.

That said, mass based armor is a class of its own, very little can go through several meters thick armor and adding such powerful shielding to such a heavily armored warship would make it a true juggernaut. Too bad the mats for such a ship will likely be able to build quite a few more as opposed to the one ship.

Hense, its a good choice if you have fewer troops to man them and excess material.

I Also like how you don't use one generator for anything but several smaller ones which I assume can take over each others functions if necessary or slave their output, for example weapons to shields when a hit is about to be confirmed and extra power to the shields might make all the difference.

That said, u do still think you should look into genetic enhancements and nanotech in support of the individual. You're currently outnumbered, so you need to make sure you trump quantity with quality and training.

You missed out with genetic mods... Read the koban series if you wanna see how awesome they can be and starforce for metal stuff. Basically whilst you did amazing you still fall behind with the individual enhancements

great story hope you continue someday