Cant she wush her vetus back

I loved this story untill you killed the baby off now i hate it

This fic has been saved in my Favorites for about 13 years now. It was one of my favorite fanfics back when it was published, and was one I happily recommended to other fans in the years to come. So when I was going through my Favorites to clean it up a bit, and fondly glanced at the title of this story and remembered my love for it, I decided to sit down and re-read it.

Sadly, I didn't enjoy it as much as I once did.

While I don't think it's poorly written, there are three glaring aspects of it that takes you out of the story while you're reading it. 1.) The high number of typos that repeatedly pop up, 2.) the awful characterization, and then 3.) the inconsistencies.

I haven't read your other fics following this one (aside from, perhaps, the sequel to this when you first published it), so I don't know if this is something you have improved on or not as the years have passed, but I do feel you should keep in mind to spell check and proofread your stories before posting them. Typos happen to all writers (I won't deny they happen to me), but for them to frequently go unnoticed the way they do here with this fic does come across as sloppy. It gets annoying and distracting when you're reading a fic and keep noticing glaring typos all over the place or misused words.

Now, on to the characterizations. When you remarked in one of the chapter author's notes that you weren't a fan of Sailor Moon, I can't say I was surprised by the comment. It showed in your writing. Like big bright neon lights.

Usagi's newfound maturity made sense, considering she was supposed to be a senior in college at the start of the fic and then was approaching her 30s by the end of it. I had no problem with that. The complete asshole Mamoru is written to be here, the bitchier than normal Rei, and the fact that the Inner Senshi actually abandoned Usagi to her ugly fate in the enemy's hands? Yeah. No. Not in a million years.

I know it was quite popular in the Sailor Moon fandom back in the day to relentlessly hate 90s anime Mamoru (as well as Chibi-Usa). I won't deny that for the majority of the first season he (like Rei) is an unlikable jerk towards Usagi. I don't disagree with fans using that, as well as him breaking up with Usagi in the second season in a misguided effort to protect her, as ammunition for their hatred of the character. He is easily my least favorite version of the character if I am to be perfectly honest here. But he was no where near this bad, and he certainly wasn't abusive to Usagi the way you imply he is in this story.

As I already touched on, Rei was admittedly a jerk and a horrible friend to Usagi in the first season. I'll be the first to admit that I hate her in the first season. But towards the tail end of Season 1 her animosity towards Usagi begins to change. By the end of the Season (and in the seasons and movies that follow it), she's more than happy to throw her life on the line to protect Usagi. When Usagi's in danger and there's nothing she can do about it, or if Usagi dies, Rei's the one who freaks out the most. She's the one who gets the most emotional over it.

She would not have abandoned Usagi like you had her do here, and the rest of the Inner Senshi certainly would't have agreed to go along with it.

Regardless, their decision to do so in this story makes no sense. Not only is Usagi their leader and friend, but she's also in possession of a very powerful crystal that one would not want in the hands of a monster like Zeke. The Sailor Senshi, thanks to Ami, know where Usagi is and thus, by extension, know where the enemy's base is. It makes no sense whatsoever that instead of calling the Outer Senshi and their other allies for backup to take the fight to Zeke and save her, they decide to leave Usagi (and the powerful weapon she possesses) in enemy hands instead so they can stay in Tokyo wasting their time and energy for the next eight years fighting off Zeke's attacks and then waiting for him to strike again.

The Outer Senshi are clearly resentful towards the Inners for their decision to abdandon Usagi, but never take on Zeke themselves or try to rescue Usagi either? Kinda hypocritical of them.

I was more of a DBZ fan back when this fic came out, and am only really a casual fan these days, so my observations about the characters may admittedly be inaccurate, but even a couple of the DBZ characters seemed out of character. Well, more like overexaggerated.

Yes, little Trunks seemed to get himself into mischief in the Buu saga. But I don't remember him being so disrespectful, rude, and bratty acting the way he's presented as being in this fic. The same applies to Vegeta. Was he arrogant and prideful? Yup. But his worst qualities are amplified to being over the top in this fic.

Quite frankly, he comes across as a real creep towards Usagi in the pre-Earth wedding chapters a lot of the time. Disrespectfully referring to her as onna/baka onna, as if it were a cute nickname (I'm assuming you were trying to recapture Mamoru's teasing Usagi over her hairstyle with odango atama/meatball head by doing this, but it really doesn't work) when it's not cute at all. Heck, Usagi even tells little Veggie near the end of the fic that it's rude/offensive and bad manners to do that. Vegeta's extreme possessiveness over Usagi, attempts to dictate what she can wear outside of their bedroom, and jealousy over her politely interacting with another man aren't attractive or romantic qualities either.

Considering you made Mamoru an abusive boyfriend behind closed doors for the purposes of this story, I found the presentation of Vegeta's unpleasant behaviors towards Usagi being viewed as romantic very odd and in very poor taste.

Don't get me started on how utterly obnoxious Future Trunks was.

As much as I Iove Usagi/Vegeta when he's not acting like a creep (I promise, I'll get to that in a moment), I do feel that you rushed into them becoming a couple with very little interactions or relationship developements between the two for my taste. A little bit more build up would have been a better idea in my opinion. I also felt the moments where they completely and utterly misunderstand a situation and had drama over it (Usagi, in the immediate aftermath of flirty banter and a makeout session with Vegeta, getting depressed and thinks he was upset with her when he told her he had something he had to do, and then Vegeta leaving Usagi because he suddenly realized giving birth is painful and somehow came to the conclusion that by impregnating her with a baby they were both excited for made him a horrible person unworthy of her love) was really silly and unnecessary padding.

You seemed pretty consistent with the DBZ part of your story and didn't really stray much from the source material (aside from Vegeta/Bulma not being a couple and the exaggerated actions/behavior of certain characters), but you were all over the place with the Sailor Moon parts (another telling sign that you weren't a fan).

You use the Japanese names, but the dialogue and intereactions between the Inner Senshi and Usagi feel much more like Serena with the Sailor Scouts to me. You change the grand romance between Serenity and Endymion into a mere arranged marriage. You completely bastardize Mamoru (and to a lesser extent, Rei). You have Usagi refer to Sailor Cosmos like she was a thing in the 90s anime when she wasn't relevant (or even named IIRC) in Stars. And you present the Outers relationship with Usagi (and presumably in the past with the Inners as well) as being really close and loving (like Usagi and the Inners are with each other in the series) when that wasn't the case in the 90s anime either.

And now, finally, to what I liked about the fic.

Despite my issues with how fast they became a couple, and what a creep Vegeta could be, I DID love Usagi/Vegeta and at times felt they could be very sweet when they weren't being overdramatic over silly things.

Him finding her regular apperance far more beautiful than her Tenshi appearance. His admiration of her bravery, kindness, and strength. Him becoming more invested in being a parent because of his relationship with her, and wanting to be a better person (I felt) because of her. Her seeing the good man he was capable of being. Her interest in his culture/homeworld/past, and desire to honor and respect his heritage as best she could. Her being a wonderful mother. The soul bond between Usagi and Vegeta. I loved it all!

I also loved Vegeta and Goku's friendship, Usagi's friendship with Goku and Bulma, Vegeta stepping up to try and be a good parent (I died laughing at the "It's an airplane, Dammit! An airplane, an airplane!" bit when Vegeta tried to feed Veggie). Bardock watching Goku and Vegeta being good loving fathers to their children, and regreting he wasn't there for his own children. Minako (I honestly felt bad for her, and really wished that Usagi would at least have remained friends with her).

Basically...I may be much more critical of this fic now than I was when I was 15/16, but I do still love it and do still consider it a favorite. It was the fic that made me like the Usagi/Vegeta pairing, and I never did find a Vegeta/Usagi fic that lived up to it either.

I don't know if you'll ever actually read this, but if you do then thank you for taking the time to do so. And thank you for writing this fic!

I know reviewing on the first chapter is weird but just wanted to say that it is a very good start and you have lots of talent from the get go cant wait to read more into it. -u-

Loved it so much!

Bulma named her kids after clothes, how weird!

I simply loved your story. It didn't alternate too much the original stories even though I was a bit surprised about how the Buu battle was cut short. Your story is amazing though. Most of the time, I'm wary about Sailor Moon cross overs. I don't really like Sailor Moon. Usagi is too much of a cry baby in it but in your story I didn't recognize the cry baby Usagi. I loved the more grown up Usagi and her personality change was plausible after all she went through. She reminded me much more of Princess Serenity. Simply a really good work. Thanks for this awesome story. :)

Haven't seen you in forever, Kit, I hope you come back!

I loved this fanfic. It literally grabbed my heart! I'm glad i'm not the only one who thought of this. Like, editing the sagas with different characters. I love this story, and might read it again! :)

awsome job with this story, and i hope you update its sequel

This is the second time I read your story. I agree with the way you portrayed the difference in power. It's true the DBZ characters are definitely stronger than SM. But magic vs Physical strength can be deadly. If a magical person got a spell on one of the Z warriors before they attacked thats it. But if one of the Z warriors got to the person first then thats it for the magical person.

Great work! Glad Saturn managed to heal her.

Oh ThiS is such a wonderful fic! I just love it!

nice story but the bit that says "nande kuso" doesnt make any sense _

This is an awesome fic. I love it.