This is great. Some people have no clue how to write dialogue, and their fanfic a end up really stupid. You seem to have grasped how and when to use dialogue. Congratulations. I love the story, and Bluefen's character.

This is great...the vermin language and spelling is so much like the books it is hard to tell the difference sometimes. But... ferret smut? PLEEZ!

This story makes me terribly uncomfortable, and that's how I know it's well-done. As someone who has worked with domestic abuse survivors, your characterization of Bluefen as an abused spouse is pretty spot on. It's almost like she's an afterthought in the book, and that's what it often feels like DA survivors - being a secondary supporting character in the story of their own life - and so I think this fits well. I'm glad that someone else spared a thought for what her side of the story might have looked like. Good job!

this is the only story in my story alert because its BEEAST

Interesting perspective. I like the dynamic that you have set up here for Swartt and Bluefen- meaning the two opposing personalities. You have really taken the time to develop Bluefen well. I can't help but think that she wants to be a "good" beast as she tries to be kind when she can, but also can flip the coin quickly and be ruthless. It will be interesting to see how you progress with this story and tie it into the Jacques novel...

Interesting prespectives. My recomendations, of which there are few, is to impose some of the more intellectual side of him, as it could possibly alter the reader's veiw of him as a semi-thinker, rather than a hard-assed course, these are my veiws. You are the writer, and I am not.

Lol Swartt is such an a-hole. I feel so bad for poor Bluefen 'cause she's never really had a break in her life. First her father, and now her husband.
I like your writing, it really makes me sympathise with and emotionally react to the characters. The part where Bluefen gained some respect from the others was good as well. Please update soon :)

i spit on your mothers haircut thats awesome lololololololololz

One of the best fanfics about Bluefen. Characters stick to the original story, which is rare. Oh, and for all who say Bluefen is too talkative, she didn't say much in the parts Mr. Jacques wrote her in, did she?

Very nicely done! I particularly liked how you made Swartt so in character, developed Bluefen into an actual character, and gave the whole story a more mature feel that still read as completely natural. It is nice to see different styles from those who don't necessarily try to mimic the original author's style.

I do have something to impart to you though. I noticed your numerous demands for reviews on a couple of chapters, and I have a saying to impart to you. "It is better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." This is one of my favourite sayings that I've ever heard and one I live by all the time. Of course, I'm not accusing you of selling out with writing (who would want to do that anyway?), but speaking as an author who is frequently told he is way too underrated or deserves a bigger fanbase (on the internet or off), I advise you to enjoy what feedback you receive and let the reviews come to you. I say this not as a rebuke, because I can't deny that you are a great writer and should receive a lot more attention. And while more feedback more readers is true on a site where people are drawn to the stories with more reviews, I do have to disagree with your logic that more readers more chapters, as per above. You should enjoy writing regardless of how much feedback you get. Besides, a lot of people probably have read this story but just didn't think of anything to say. But hey, in a perfect world, people always take the time to offer encouragement, and if more users did that here, this site would be in a lot better condition. Again, I'm not judging you or anything, because I do see where you're coming from.

Anyway, I know it's been a while since your last update, but I really hope you finish this story. It's definitely one of my favourite Redwall fanfics now! :)

So am I to assume that you are done writing this fic? :( That's too bad, since I actually do enjoy reading it. Bluefen is a realistic character and the fact that Swartt's character gets a little bit of humanity(ish?) now and then is a nice surprise factor in every chapter. If you could find the time to update sometime then it would make me a very happy person. :)

~Jade TeaLeaf

Superb story, pity it isn't finished but I really like how you've taken such a minor character and brought her forward. It's because of this fan fiction I reread the book. -

This is rather horrible and sad. But at the same time very well written and interesting. Poor Bluefen. DIE, SWARTT, DIE!

Anywayyy i like this story. Bluefen seems a lot less meek than she was in the book. Aaand, seriously, i will never look at swartt the same way again.

Welldone-you are a talented writer :D

A good story, through the eyes of a barely mentioned character that I've always been curious about. write more chapters. I'd like to read more.

~Cregga

Ah Swartt. I never did like him, didn't like Veil either. I'm watching this story and, I have to admit, it's a far cry from what lovely miss Bluefen was in the book. Here she seems quite talkative, and Mr. Jacques seemed to have her as just such a minor character she would be so easily overlooked that when the inevitable occurrence of Veil's birth and her death, she's just another beast that'll never be mentioned again. I mean, she seems to be overlooked by everyone (everybeast? Does it really matter?) in the story. This saddens me, since if Bluefen didn't exist or died before she gave birth, half of the plot of Outcast of Redwall would be cast into oblivion.

From reading this and the few other Bluefen stories here, I've grown fond of her character. I just know that by the end of this story, I'm going to cry my eyes out.