While it may have been fun for you to write it was also boring to read. And sickinly sweet in parts. That whole "my angel" shit made me want to puke.

That was the absolute best version of the honeymoon night that I have ever read. Of course your story of Edwards Sisister has to be in my top 3. I’ve read it over and over. I hope u never take it down. Thank u.

That was ... beautiful.

I was very amused when I read that SM disappointed you in Breaking Dawn. First, Twilight was written for teenagers, and possibly tweens. I can't imagine any parent allowing their child (especially boys for me since The hormones hit The hardest) to read a book if it had ANY kind of sex in it.
Next, did you happen to read where she went to college? Brigham Young University, a church run university, by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Mormons. And I wouldn't be surprised if what little she wrote wasn't considered a bit racy! Especially for the originally targeted audience!
The hymen is just an itsy bitsy way in. She'd feel it almost as soon as he barely in. Just so you know.

That was amazing. Brought me back to my whole obsession. Lol.

Thank you!

Yes, her fade to black was quite the let down. And, the very reason we're all most,y here in the first place. Well done capturing canon Edward.

That was FANTASTIC! I always hated that the book just faded to black with the sex scenes. I get that it's marketed to young adults, but young adult books sometimes have sex in them and not so wonderfully done as this was. What a terrific imagining of how the book should have been. :-) Thank you for sharing your talent.

I've written it and read it, but never experienced it quite like this. I think 3rd person was an excellent choice. The ocean scene was delicate and poignant. The consummation scene was electric. I loved this flashback to the canon story!

Beautiful words. You captured his struggle perfectly. Thank you

So good! I loved it!

Yup. This is Canon Edward. Even after a mind-blowing orgasm for both of them, he is consumed with guilt.

Loved this! :)

:)

this was definitely missing from canon...wretched YA rules! glad you pulled back the curtain

wow, u should also do the next scene )