I enjoyed the story and especially mark's isn't immediately smitten with lyn and he voice his objections towards her relationship is very interesting and it could develop differently than the typical have not updated in quite a while but i hope you will soon since it would be a pity for such a nice story to remain incomplete.

Why has this story not been updated for so long? I think that you're going in a good direction with the dynamic of Mark and Lyn's teamwork, so here's hoping to chapter 3 where they'll *hopefully* reconcile. Hope this hasn't been abandoned.

Nice. VERY nice characterization. You did well, and I offer my congratulations. Lyn doesn't seem OOC at all, don't worry too much.

Great job, and I look forward to your future updates.

Hey, TheCandyManIsBack! Gunlord here for the Lil' Circle of Reviewyness, leavin' a review for your fic as requested

This seems pretty good. It's fairly well-written, Mark doesn't seem to be a Gary-Stu of any sort (definitely not...thanks for that, I've seen too many in my time x_x;; ) and the grammar and everything seems alright, at least from the quick glance I took The opening seems pretty loyal to what the game has, so that's good. I have to admit this doesn't seem like the most original thing I've ever read, but it's just the opening for the story, so I'll keep an eye out. Thanksfor lettin' me read this! :D

Awesome Mark/Lyndis fic. Please update soon.

Great cliffhanger there...also, original plottwist, most people had the 'lovey-dovey' thing going on between them, you have conflict...truth be told, I was going to do something very similar to this plot-twist, also an FE7 fan fic, but you kinda beat me to it P, so if you need any help, I have a few ideas, just PM.

Criticism: You kinda rushed Mark's feelings a bit too fast...I get the impression of a Lelouch Lamperouge/Zero kinda guy when I see the personality and such; him having feelings for Lyn in the second chapter is way too fast...either have him discard the feeling later or edit the chapter. Also, some minor grammatical errors in both of the chapters, not gonna copy and paste here, 'cuz you need to double check your work before you publish. It isn't a major detriment, you can read it through without noticing it there, but I noticed.

Also, I intend to review each and every one of the chapters for this story, so giddy-up on the updating...lol. Oh, and I'll beta-read any chapters you're not sure of.

I loved this story! I've only read the first chapter, but I can see you're a very good writer! (I hope that doesn't sound like I'm all high-and-mighty!) But I was wondering, Would you like to write a story with another author? Like me?

My email is if you're interested.

Anyway, the critique:

It's good, you have a good voice, and you have a good vocabulary. I also liked the way you captured Lyn in it. Very good-it sounds just like her! I think that an area you could improve on (Though I have problems with this a lot more!) is the flow. It's kind of...for lack of a better word, choppy. But only in some parts of it. For most of it, you did very well!

Please, think about writing with me. I would love that!

Not a bad story. A couple spelling mistakes early on. Mark's past has a lot that could be done with it and the combination of Lyn and Mark's skills has a lot of potential.

This is a really well done story so far. I like how you didn't have Lyn just parrot what the game has her say. (I really hate it when people do that)

An interesting story so far. I look forward to more.

I like. Good beginning, though how Mark got there is kinda cliche. It's cool, though. Having a non-perfect tactitian is great for a change, makes the story and the characters seem more realistic. AND it's not a self-insert!

Now, from praise to criticism. When Mark tries to get Lyn to trust her, it's almost of he's already hitting on her. I'd recommend a slow, gradual relationship rather than a Sain-like 'let's all jump in a fluffy bed together' relationship. Also, when Mark wakes up and says "Sweet Elimine...", it is confusing whether he is referring to the fact that Lyn is striking or whether he's just still dazed and groggy from just waking up.

Good first chapter, though.