For God's sake! Choose one tense and stay with it! You can't have things written in the past tense, e.g. had, turned, looked, said, sat, in one paragraph and then in present tense, e.g. is, turns, looks, shakes, sits, says, in the next paragraph. It's just not done! Look at proper, published, novels and you will see the author sticks with one or the other. It's not that bloody hard!

I don't read fanfics that are written poorly like this. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but if you are going to post a story please at least make it semi-presentable. Tenses are one of the basic rules in writing stories and novels and if you can't master one of the early ones, how are you supposed to write a good piece?

Oh. And if you want to write a fic based on another person's work, try to spell the characters' names properly. It's "Emmett" not "Emmet".

good story, one small point vampire about at most 20 faster and stronger then human clark is a thousand or more, all of the together could not stand up to him, good story.

well, well, well, I really liked your fic, it was very good, but i did not like that you didnt depicted chloe, like the hybrid that she became, and you showed she weakest.

THE CHLOES CHARACTER FASCINATES ME, also edward, BUT NOT MORE THAN ALICE

personally, yes, i would like that you write about their life after the end of your fic...I would love to see a sequel...

bye

_

bueno, bueno, bueno, realmente me gustó tu fic, estuvo muy bueno, pero no me gustó que no hubieras motrado mas a chloe como el hibrido en que se convirtió, y la mostraste muy debil para mi gusto

EL PERSONAJE DE CHLOE ME FASCINA, y tambien edward, PERO NO MAS QUE ALICE

personalmente, si, me gustaria que escribieras sobre la vida de ellos despues del final de tu fic...me agradaria ver una secuela...

CHAO

that was awesome i loved it :)

that was really good you should write more

A very nice end, me encantaria to see a sequel, but does curiosity kill me, that Chloe did to Lex?

Aww )

That was such a cute ending! I loved this fic so much and I hope you do write a sequel!

OMG, I LOVE this chapter! It was so sweet that Bella came to help! And LOL It's just like Lana to go and want to be a vampire and to want Edward. And I'm glad Lana and James are dead, as weird as that sounds. I also feel bad for Clark though! GREAT CHAP!

A wonderful ending! Good for Clark, Oliver and Lois for realizing how important Edward was to Chloe. And I liked the Lollie banding together to get him to come back for Chloe's sake.

And I loved the happy romantic ending for Chloe/Edward but I would love to see how they deal with the Volturi.

Lastly, please know that I am continuing to pray for you-good for you for keeping your spirits up with fanfiction :):)

I love that Ollie and Lois took control and dragged Edward away from Forks! I totally see them doing that for Chloe. And how cute is it that Edward and Chloe were listening to the same song? congrats on the first ever completed fic! hooray!

OMGOMGOMG! i LOVE this chapter soo f*ing much its not even funny! i can believe edward but it makes the story just so much beter and i swear i'm crying right now! i love your story and chloe and edward are such an awesome couple! and Lana! i have to say i did not see that coming but i loved it! and it sucks for clark for losing lana but she had it coming! she's crazy for the attention of a male who has never shown an inch of emotion towards her! i loved it so much and i loved how Bella helped out and called eddie!(lol) i can not wait for the epilogue, i am soo excited! i hope edward will come to his senses!

Woo hoo, I love any chapter where Lana dies a horrible death :)

And it turns out that she was completely jealous of Chloe and Edward-awesome!

But now that they danger has passed, why is Edward leaving Chloe? He has got to stop running away from his problmes!

Edward is SUCH A DUMBASS. You nailed him honey. lol

And I don't get why he's so like taht anyway. CHLOE KILLED LANA WHO WAS HER FRIEND (well, sort) AND YOU DON"T SEE HER CRYING ABOUT IT LIKE SOME PANSY! Sad thing is that you wrote Edward completley cannon.

sighs

Jacob's gonna hafta change his attitude towards CHloe now that she saved Bella. *sneers happily at the thought*

I hope that everything goes well for you! :) Take your time till you're at 100%!

I loved this chapter so much! My favorite part was the Bella/Chloe convo at the end! And I love the previews for the next update! :)

Quite the exciting updates!

I hope Chloe makes it through it all okay, and I hope you do too-may your hospital stay be short, and you come out improved and healthy :)