I don’t know why you’re getting so much hate for this. It’s a good story, if they hate it they should leave. I like it and I’d be thrilled if you wrote some more. Time for the fluff after the angst!

Ok I have to say this, I HATE your version of Bella. The whole "why me" bullshit is just too much. Why is there such a disconnect between her and reality? Duh Bella, bad people do bad things. And that man was an opportunist. And to allow him to change not only you but your life for YEARS is amazingly stupid. I understand its a horrible thing that happened but why is it years later making her doubt that people even care about her? Its so fucking weird. Shes practically BEGGING Edward to care about her all the while pushing him away. How is it that she's gone YEARS without actually dealing with shit? Having her so desperate and pathetic really contradicts her pushing him away too, so the whole story up to this point has been, for me, a pile of garbage. Just once Id like to see her not like him because she actually doesn't like him.

And for the love of god stop having Edward call her "bell"!

Edward says, "Ive never felt so rejected, cast aside, brushed off as nothing in my life" Don't you think we realized the meaning when he said REJECTED? Why keep going on? Rejected, cast aside, brushed off, abandoned, alone, lonely, she doesn't want me, she will never want me, im like gum on her shoe, thrown away like garbage...…..its absolutely useless, be CONCISE!

"could you...you know...teach me to trust Edward?"

No Bella, I cant. Your a complete fucktard that has spent years NOT dealing with what happened to you. How about you teach yourself how to trust people? Theres an idea. Or how about this, just by asking you are already displaying trust...amazing I know. Now if you can only get some help for how fucking stupid and pathetic you are.

I don't get why you had Lonnie do that to bella. I feel like you could have created the same untrusting, unwilling to be near edward bella without all that shit. Heres a novel idea, have her actually be afraid of vampires, she could act exactly like she is now. LA GASP!

And for the record, I dont like that you have bella saying one thing and doing another. Having her constantly looking at edward when she thinks hes not looking with "soft eyes" is just...pointless.

Alice's comment seemed very inappropriate. She says ALL SHES EVER WANTED was to make Edward happy. That doesn't ring true does it? Ya, not in the least. You really need to be more aware of your word choices.

I don't understand why you would think that having Lonnie rape bella added something to the story. What is the point to that? You wanted her "broken", for what? I really don't get that choice, its so …...pointless.

I don't really understand the point to this story. Its twilight except Bella already knows the sister whores and for some strange reason the Cullen's are intervening in Edwards love life? You know I actually find that amazingly unfair. They each got to meet their mate naturally. So why not set up that same meeting for Edward without forcing it? They are literally taking something important away from him by doing it this way.

I think Alice is such a pointless character and I HATE her meddling.

"hes doing the self loathing THIS again"
Did you not check over your writing to check for grammar errors? Doesn't seem like it.

And whats with the fucking introvention? Hes lonely and wants a mate and the family decided that was something to have a da,m introvention about? So far this story is ridiculous.

I don't like that they all seem to "know" that Edward will find his mate. And I really don't like how whiny your version of him is.

There are so many things wrong with this story that it's insane. First of all, you said that mates are supposed to find each other. So how can Edward and Bella have an arranged marriage? Also, it bothers me how everyone in this story is so rude to Bella and they arrange a marriage for her without even getting her consent. Sh repeatedly says this isn't something she wants but Edward guilt her into doing it. Again, Edward keeps pushing Bella to do things she doesn't want to. He says he won't force her to do anything but he does exactly that. Honestly, this while story is so messed up and it makes me cringe.

I feel like this has gone on long enough. Edward has been saying the same shit over and over and over. I wont hurt you...I wont touch you...she'll never love me...I feel a growl in my chest...venom in my mouth...etc etc.

Don't get me started on Bella. I hate what you've done with her character. You what wanted to make her vulnerable? Took that to the fucking extreme.

Edward felt a growl build up in his chest like 4 times in chapter 5. It lost its effect after the second time and the fourth was just awkward.

Also there are a lot of mistakes, another edit wouldn't hurt.

I didn't like the end of chapter four. You made it seem like bella was just playing hard to get. Because when Edward started backing off bella started pushing forward

If vampires recognize their mates when they meet them then this whole story so far is redundant. Just absolutely fucking pointless.