Edward is too young to be a lawyer. I thought Todd was with Alice. I was wondering why they separated the kids and than Todd was in his bed.

Geez... I don’t even know what to say. The idea for the story isn’t bad but...
Don’t know how you can call bella a good mother, I would never want her around my kids. Kids come first, always. You don’t say whatever you want in front of them.
What kind of company does Edward’s father, the doctor own? What the hell would bella even tell mike he has a son from his rape? Edward should have thrown him out while Bella went in the room with the kids. Just leave her alone with her rapist.

Todd pale and lifeless...who says stuff like that? She bought her flat or rented a flat? If she bought her flat like you said, where is it? What happened to it?
Mike is going to pick up where he left off? Where did he leave off? Dating or raping? What is she talking about? Maybe she shouldn’t have ran and told her dad she was raped. She was a cops daughter for gods sake, she should know better.

So bella was raped as a teenager? By someone she went to high school with? That she never seen again? How the hell is that even possible? She had to be pregnant as a senior. There are some big details being left out if that is possible. She was living in a small town with a police chief father? And never said anything?

So bella just tells EVERYONE that Todd’s father didn’t love her. What is wrong with her? That isn’t appropriate, if I was edward I would be pissed. Of course the girls didn’t comment in the story but in real life they would want to know what the hell that means. Is there daddy going to stop loving them one day and leave? Is that what happens?

Doesn’t really make a lot of sense. There is no story just facts and broken conversation.

You don’t tell your toddler that daddy left because he doesn’t love you anymore. What kind of thing is that to say to a child, unbelievable. I’m not saying I know what to say but that isn’t it.

He called Alice his sister in law and said Alice Emette’s sister in-law. I thought alice is Jasper’s wife who is the best friend.
Not a bad story but the writing doesn’t really flow into a story. Disjointed and a lot of repeating. Not that I would do much better.

Why didn't Charlie to after Mike I hope Charlie is not a bad father in your story. I don't like story's were the writer makes Charlie out to be a bad father. I am thinking you are going to make him a bad dad because of how Bella is living. Just know when that chapter comes and you wrote Charlie is a bad father I will stop reading.

Thanks for sharing.

So does Edward and his brothers live with the mom or are they just visiting? Is Lauren the boss? What does Edward do that makes him so wealthy, but still able to have his kids with him at work? I have so many questions.

Sometimes I read books on how annoying Alice can be and I seriously want to choke her, she's really irritating

You should write more i can't wait to read more of your stories :)

An enjoyable and cute story.

Why did Mike show up at Edward's?