this was amazinggg

It's a good story and your grip of the characters is great. At times, it gets a bit too messy and somewhat too close to how actual speech might sound and thus pretty damn hard to keep track of.

I think, maybe, you should try to clarify stuff a little. Ease on the babbling.

This is a criminally under appreciated work of frickin genius. Beautiful and brutal and quite bloody brilliant in its execution.

You took this reader kicking and screaming to that very bad place and turned it into a merciless delight.

Mad-Hamlet. First of all, my thanks to your friend, Kirayoshi. I followed her recommendation for reading your work and don't regret it for a moment. As to this story-I don't know what to type. I really don't. This story is one of the most harrowing I've every read about rape and its aftermath. It was stark, terrifying, emotionally charged and utterly right. I simply couldn't stop reading. I'm utterly discombobulated and don't know whether I loved it or hated it. I only know it was profoundly moving. You're simply too good a writer to settle for fan fiction. Most fan fic writers never get beyond plagiarizing the works of others and that's what fan fiction is really about. But your story obviously transcends that. I hope that you may write your own fiction someday with your own carefully crafted characters. It will be well worth the wait.

Would like to read this but too vague and confusing to get into. Need some kind of framework or lots of clues. May need to be printed so I can cheat ahead. Don[t like doing a lot of scrolling back and forth.