Brilliant! I love your take on their past relationship. Everything was written very well. )

That's exquisite. I have no idea, and care less, whether there might be any SPaG issues because your story just carried me along without even noticing.

What a beautiful little one-shot! I love stories that portray the multi-faceted tragedy that was the relationship between Lily and Severus. I understand that they can be repetitive (Rowling specifies many aspects of their early relationship), but you captured the emotion perfectly. Well done :)

I have a read a fanfic that started out just like this. With Lily landing safely on the ground in front of Snape. I heard of people stealing stories before, and i think its really lame. Maybe you didn't know, but the similarities are ridiculous.

This was very well done - an honest and sad portrayal of Snape's love, which was at times pathetic, at times petty and selfish, but which was nonetheless the force that eventually transformed his life into something good, if not beautiful.

You did a good job of showing both his immaturity and his desperate vulnerability, and you made me really like Lily as she came through in these memories. I spent a lot of the story disappointed in him and yet rooting for him at the same time, which is exactly the reaction Severus should provoke, I think :) Thanks for sharing this.

nicely written.