I love this! Very articulate writing!

nice

nice job, though it leaves a huge opening for a continuance.

Very well done, excellent chapter. Good luck!

This was simply enthralling! You have a wonderful descriptive ability and the story flowed smoothly making for a marvelously enjoyable read! I really do hope that the plotbunnies that spawned this fic continue to multiply. There is so much potential for a deeper story here! Bravo, and thank you for sharing this with us!

That would rock if you were able to continue this! I liked that style and you did a great job explaining things.

More please!

Sg

Interesting insight into Kaname's emotional state ...

Furthermore you're developing Kyoko's chara, thus introducing another strong persona in the FMP-universe.

She's sharper than one might think first ("Somehow, Kyoko doubted Souske had a part-time job delivering birthday cakes.")

Grammar and spelling are flawless.

I hope you're going to continue writing fics about FMP ...

cute oneshot in the eyes of a character I love.

I found that very well written thankyou.

Nice Job. Impressive POV from a best friend. It shows how much Kaname cares for Souske without her being put on the spot. Spelling and grammer were great and the writing itself was nicely done. The story flowed very smoothly and was a very good read.

If you do decide to continue this type of story, maybe get Mao's view on how his absence affects Tessa.

Me personally, I like the Tessa/Souske pairings, but to each his own.

Anywho, Great story.

Soth11

Well I must say you did very well capturing Kaname's feelings for Sousuke through Kyoko's perspective. It's an interesting take to see someone else's observation into the behavior of another person. Your writing overall was good and your choice of words to describe the many emotions/situations allows for the reader to easily connect with the story.

I guess if this is indeed a one shot, it does feel some what incomplete at the end. Sort of just focusing on the negative aspect of Sousuke/Kaname's relationship and the void left in Kaname's heart when Sousuke isn't there. I'm sure if you wanted you could throw in another chapter to differentiate between the negative and positive aspect of their relationship and the different effect it has on Kaname's behavior as noted by Kyoko. Really is up to you, but I'd be quite pleased to read it.

A very nice one-shot. I really like your writing and if the bug from the FMP fandom ever bites you, I would count myself lucky to be able to read the result.

I really liked this! Certainly believable, and even better yet, the correct insight to Kyouko's character just from watching the anime. She really is smarter than she's given credit for, but they never really delve into that in the anime.

Well-written and an enjoyable little read. Great as a one-shot, and I'd be happy to see it turn into more, or if the bug bites you, to see a full-on fic. _

~Misha