you are so good at writing Sirius! "no i dont, i love you, you silly twat." just seems like such a sirius thing (hehe) to say! loved it!

:)

CUTE!

haha that was funny

hahaha! omg thats funny!

Lol.

Heh...

XD

Thats funny XP

(continued)

'"But your snogging on my bed!"' 'You're' not 'your'.

'"Now weir where we?"' 'where', not 'weir'.

'"Oh Moony your changing beds with me."' comma after 'Oh', another after 'Moony', and 'you're' not 'your'.

'"Leave James LEAVE now!"' comma after James.

'"Leaving"' Puntuation mark missing. I'll leave the author's note alone.

I'm sorry the list was so long, but if it means your next creation will be grammatically correct, it must be made. I am also sorry if the very length of the list offends you, but as I've been told(, "You like grammer?(gasp)You nutcase!") it's in my nature to find them. (insert apologetic smile here) Good try, though!

I read your first one, thank you for removing the foul language(it means a lot to me). I like the story, you still have many errors though, nothing too major, but I feel I should list them.

"'Why do I need something to talk to my best Friend?'" friend shouldn't be capitalized.

"'Because I know you have been slacking off in your homework and that you probably want me to do it for you right'" You need a punctuation mark at the end of the sentence. Linguistically, I feel you could have done without the 'that' or placed it elsewhere, it's not an error just something that bothers me.

'"No actualy I came to tell you that i'm in love."' Actually, actually is spelled incorrectly, also I'm sure the I in I'm needs to be capitalized.

'"Are you OK Moony you look like your going to pass out or start balling"' put a comma or punctuation mark after 'Moony'. I am unsure if you spelled/used 'balling' right, but I think you meant "bawling". You also need a punctuation mark.

'"Well you see I can't tell you that because you would hate me."' You need some commas at the beginning, 'Well, you see,' Would be be easier to understand.

'"I'll hate you if you don't tell me so spill."' You need another comma before 'so spill'.

'"No I don't I love you, you silly twat"' Puntuation mark at the end and a comma after 'don't'. (maybe after 'No' too, I'm honestly not an expert, can't be sure)

'"You do"

"Of course"

..."Do that again"

..."That"

"yea"'

'Yea' should be 'Yeah'(capital intended)

Punctuation marks! All of them need one.

'"My eyes my eyes "' you need a comma or exclaimation point between the 'my eyes' and a mark of punctuation at the end.

'"Oh shut up James"' Mark of punctuation, please!

'"NO! You'r reading minds!"' 'You're', m'dear, 'You're'.

'"Leave James"' More punctuation errors.

'"Wow Moony vary forward I see"' very, not 'vary', puntuation mark missing, comma after 'Moony' and either an exclaimation point or comma after 'wow'.

'"Oh gosh wait till I'm out of hear please"' comma after 'Oh gosh' and here as opposed to 'hear', comma after 'hear'('here' if you choose to correct it), and a mark of punctuation.

'Door slams shut' It would be more effective in parentheses as a "stage direction"

(to be continued)

Hiya! Cute idea. I quite like dialogue only one shots - I'm trying to do one myself (not working out real well,actually). I think you might need to just check your spelling very carefully as there are quite a few mistakes and it can get a bit distracting. You might like to try and find a spelling Beta to help out. Having said that, never look at my punctuation too closely.

Why is it so much fun to have them shagging on James' bed? :)