I loved this! You stayed so true to character!

Though I do like your story, but at the same time I find it very annoying when Edward is constantly focus on not killing her it just takes the romance out of it. And it took for freaking ever just for him to get to second base at the very end of this first chapter. If it were me, this entire chapter could have been a very well detailed long lemon one where even after they reach the point of no return they just don't stop and just keep on going and work on round 2 and round 3. But instead I was very disappointed that he just got to second base at the end of the chapter. I guess I just don't have enough patience for that. I like it nice and slow sometimes but there's other times for when you get too technical it just completely ruins the moment and takes the passion away from the story. I like more raw details and passion to the point that they are literally ripping each others clothes off and can't get enough of one another type of passion. I like that both types of frantic desire that can't get enough and makes no apologies type of Desire. It's okay to want someone and experience the many different facets of physical Love whether if it's your sweet soft gentle sacred touch or burning frantic desperate touch that leaves you aching for days.. What many Twilight fans were most disappointed in Breaking Dawn was because Stephanie Meyer completely left out the actual physical act of Bella and Edward making love for the first time. And what we all desire to know is what happened during the night when Edward ripped that black laces lingerie off of Bella. It certainly was not this shy quiet timid Edward you're writing about. Don't get me wrong I still like your version of Edward, but I like my Edward a little more bold and a little more raw and passionate.

More Than perfect! Love só much

He made it through successfully. She is not dead and she's extremely satisfied. I'd always disliked how he hated himself afterwards, when she told him over and over she wasn't hurt. I bruise extremely easily, have my whole life. Fair skinned people tend to. I always wished he trusted her more. Enough to accept that she was not hurting. That he'd not hurt her. That was my opinion on THE books. Very well captured by you. Well done.

You really nailed his nervousness, fear and brooding in this chapter. He is slowly overcoming it but, I fear what your Edward will think the next morning with all the bruising. Stephenie's Edward was a mess for almost a full week and it took her seducing him, with the lingerie that Alice provided, to have him try again. Will yours be the same? Or, will you stop right after they make love? Onwards to find out . . .

Wow. WOW. This was AMAZING! The closest to the characters you possibly could have stayed, and such brilliant writing... Could you write more missing scenes? You truly have a talent!

Needs way more sex

We are delighted to feature your story in FicStock Friday; a fandom celebration, at the FicSisters. Thanks Sydney Alice!

Loved it well written and beautiful. A few spelling errors but easily readable

Best honeymoon scene I've read! Loved it!

this was an absolutely lovely story, and, SO very Edward. that boy cannot see the forest for the trees! well, bella will just give him what for when she wakes up.

I loved it very well interpreted thank you are you going to be updating this story I wish you will plz let me know if you do I loved it very much and I would love it even more if you continued it.

So perfect!

Amazing! Honestly the best I've ever read. This seems so real! You are excellent at writing Edward. x

Absolutely brilliant! I really don't have sufficient words to describe what I feel about what I've just read. Your writing is simply awesome. Thank you.