I knew it was a crossover, that much is obvious. I read it mainly BECAUSE it was a crossover. My primary concern is the sentances being cut of, example.

Blue was runn

ing around.

Okay, you really need to edit this, maybe revise it. First off, start using linebreaks or something, the scene cuts are annoying. Second, I see it highly unlikely that 90% of all dialogue should be eclamations.

Third, there are sentances being cut open.

Fourth, why on Earth are these factions here, i makes no sense whatsoever. Also, I find it unlikely for a round to be 'accidently' fired at a ship, it's unidentified, and I find it even more unlikely that particular person didn't get corporal punishment for acting without orders.

In other words, your story is very unrealistic, and not because it's science fiction.

This is not a flame, it's called criticism, deal with it.

Whoa! That was too much information too fast. You are highly recommended so I decided to check out the story. I'll be back when I have more time.

You, however, need to take a deep breath and slow down. This first chapter is more info dump than story. Still I'm looking forward to reading the rest, just to see how you pull the various elements together.

Keep writing,

NTP

Excellent! I've been waiting for you to update pretty much ever since your last chapter, and this story just keeps getting better and better.

Have you been getting any more readers since I've been putting memos about this in my story? If not, I'll try and think of something else to help get more people to notice this story.

Hope to see another update as soon as you're able to get one ready.

I was wondering if you were going to incorporate the Stargate series and Batlestar Galactica at soe point, so I guess that's that answered.

Just wondering if you know, though, that you're idea for having the SG-verse Earth and the Colonials as enemies because of the Colonial belief system has been done before in Reunions Are A Bitch by Bob Regent, but don't let that discourage you from keeping with the subplot, as I'd still very much so like to see where you're going with it.

I'd like to see how the Republic/CUS fighting turns out, and whether they'll discover the Imperial treachery and become allies of circumstance. Keep going, you're doing well, ad I hope people who'e been reading my story will start reading yours now that I' endorsing it in the Authors Notes.

Can't wait for more.

Nice twist, forcing a conflict between the Republic and the new coalition like that. Glad to see you using symbols to seperate different points-of-view, it made for a smoother read.

I'll probably have my next chapter up sometime in the next couple of days,which should hopefully expose more readers to your story.

Keep the chapters coming.

Nice update, as usual. However, I did notice that you seemed to jump from faction to faction or character to character with now warning, which made it a little confusing until I got used to it.

When you jump around like that, why not put a few symbols or something to mark the end of one factions POV and the start of another. (A lot of people use the & symbol)

Other than that, the build up to a full blown war rather than the skirmishes seen so far has been good, and it builds the anticipation well. Thank you for taking my advice, it should hopefully make the story that much more interesting and any future fighting between the Empire and the CUS less one-sided

Keep it up, your on a roll.

Good job getting another chapter up so soon. I like that you're bringing back the zealous Covenant and giving them some new allies.

There was one thing that I forgot about the last chapter. I don't know a lot about Star Wars, but I do know that Super Star Destroyers (Executor, Soveriegn, Eclipse, etc) tend to be massive, thickly armoured and heavily shielded and have enough weapons to take on small fleets on their own.

Therefore I am going to assume that the CUS has a very large technological edge in order to be able to take one out with six frigates and number of strike wings. It's not a crticism, I'd just like it to be made a little more clear if that's the case.

All in all though, this is probably one of the best stories I've read on this site for a long time, and I hope to see much more of it coming.

Nice update, plenty of action. Once again, no grammatical or punctual errors worth noting.

I must say, I wasn't too sure about you turning this story into a semi-musical, but you made it work a great deal better than I expected, so kudos for that. I was actually going to suggest you add in one or two of Breaking Benjamin's songs, but you beat me to the punch already with "Blow Me Away".

Keep up the good work, and I'll keep on reviewing...deal?

I will elaborate on the CUS, MRA, Technocracy and Enslaver's histories and backstories in later chapters (I call it the IGUOFNS (Inter-Galactic Union of Free Nation States) Universe, and sometimes the BSF or Universe.). Plus I am planning on making this a semi-musical. Bands I plan to include are My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park and Machinae Supremacy. Please tell me of other bands so that I can include them in this fic. And yes, the characters will actually sing

PS: The CUS is actually a custom fleet I am working on in a game called Battleships Forever. Go visit if you're interested.

PSS: If anyone wants to see my BSF fleet, here you ?t2825&highlightconfederacyunitedsuns

This is shaping up to be a good story, although I don't really understand it all. I only know about the Halo, Homeworld and some of the Star Wars stuff, so if you could give a little more background on the other components of the story, that'd be good. Grammar, punctuation and spelling are all good, better than most other peoples.

Also, if you're looking to get more reviews, don't worry about them too much just yet. I'm writing my first fanfiction atm, and I rushed the chapters in a bid to get more reviews to help me with the story, and it ended up having a negative impact on it. Basically, just work with your chapters until you are happy with them, because once you're happy with them, others will be too.

Keep up the good work, hope to see a new chapter as soon as you have one finished.

Even though I didn't understand half of it, since I only knew the Halo portions of this, it was fine. Punctuation was fine, little to no spelling or grammar mistakes, and unlike most people on this damn site, you actually remembered to create a new paragraph when a person speaks. As for being a Beta Reader, I am not and have no desire to be; I've got allot on my plate right now.

Keep adding chapters, I'm sure more reviews will sprout up. Or, you could put this in a fandom with more reader traffic, such as Halo itself. I have huge xovers of many games and they are always in Halo, except for my Red vs. Blue X Eragon fic. But key is to be in a fandom with allot of reader traffic, that might add more reviews. Many Halo stories are riddled with poor writing, and yours will be a delight to the weary Halo readers.