Mention should go to the style of writing in this oneshot, which is somewhat unique. Although it could be argued that the 4th wall is broken by Scorpio adressing the reader, it feels quite appropriate here, in that such a nature of communication is constant throughout the oneshot.

A few little errors of writing, in that:

-my death if it is Tzeentch will (should be "will")

-He’s concern is the unbelievers (should be "His")

Think there's another typo somewhere, but anyway, that's just me nitpicking. Good job, good writing and good descriptions.

Great job! And you're right all shall fall to the changer of ways. All shall be his! Mwahahaha! Anyways just so you know I was wondering if you would like to check out my fanfic Blood,hope,and magic. It's my first fanfic and so far nobody has bothered to review it. So if you could, it would be very much appreciated. Oh and I think you should continue with this fanfic (instead of just leaving it as a oneshot).