| Reviews for Trust |
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Kitty9167 chapter 3 . 2/26/2012 update soooon? please? Sent from my iPod touch via Pocket Fiction |
MikeStokerGirl chapter 3 . 7/22/2011 Hey this is really good and really promising. Are you going to update soon? |
Kitty9167 chapter 3 . 7/3/2009 Please update. Pretty Please? *puppy eyes* I need to know if Qui Gon can save him. |
lozvamp chapter 3 . 10/19/2008 yay this story rocks i love xanatos and am glad he's a good guy for once plz update soon |
Guest chapter 3 . 10/15/2008 Keep writing! This is good! |
Vampire-child-of-the-ligh chapter 3 . 10/12/2008 I love your story. It's great. Please write more and update soon. |
Torli chapter 1 . 9/25/2008 Well, I will not mention mistakes, as others have already done this. This is very interesting. Xanatos wanting help from Qui...hmm, I would like to see next chapter sooner than later. Update! btw: just try to ask someone to be your beta. It is really good thing to do, because you will have double check before releasing it to from my own experience,it is very funny and joyful. I have great beta, Elemarth |
Guest chapter 1 . 9/23/2008 Well you've got me intrigued, can't wait to see where you go with this, well that is if you continue which I hope you do. Good job so far. |
Elemarth chapter 1 . 9/23/2008 Ha! I'm not the only one the site tortures with this problem. When you upload, the first line is repeated. In this case: Qui-Gon Jinn sat at the balcony of his and his Padawan’s quarters, meditating Look at the beginning of the story and you'll see what I mean. It's an interesting idea. I felt like the last line could have been somehow more emotional, more like an ending, but maybe that was just my mindset. I don't have anything specific for you to do to fix it. I liked the story a lot, though. |
Kaelir of Lorien chapter 1 . 9/23/2008 Ok, well, there were some good parts and then those not so good. You repeated the first line twice, first off. And for me, a story doesn't flow very well when mental communication is surrounded by parentheses. All you really need is to put those in italics and make sure to separate them when a new person is speaking. That goes for regular dialogue as well. There are a few parts where Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon is speaking directly after the other, and that should be a new paragraph. Just keep an eyes on punctuation and capitilization and all that, and this could turn out really well! The idea is interesting, Xanatos calling for help. Keep it up! |
the ultimate halo freak chapter 1 . 9/23/2008 This has potential please continue. |